Another score for meditation................

I heard a news story yesterday, stating that peo (Remeber this spot!)people that practised meditation retained their memories better than people that didn't spend time meditating. Add that to all the other benefits, and is it any wonder why I would love to develop a serious pratice? The problem I have is not the desire, but rather how to fit it into my life.

No matter my resolve, my caregiver urges always seem to get in the way. Case in point...... I sat down to type this blog, and got so far as to the remember this spot, before I stopped to work on my youngest daughter's stiff neck. This was my choice, not her request. I found it impossible to focus, with her sitting over on the sofa moaning in pain. I feel a great deal of responsibility for the care and well-being of my residents and family......... Translation............ A piece of my brain is ALWAYS on high alert to catch anything out of the ordinary. The other day, someone actually ask me if I had a room bugged, because I could hear what was going on in there from two rooms away. NO! The room is not bugged....... It is simply that I have trained my hearing/mind to always be on alert. I can be in any room,(doing any task,) and detect the tiniest sound/movement, distinguish what it is, and determine whether or not it needs my attention with about ninty percent accuracy. (Is someone getting up, or just re-ajusting their position.) This is a good thing, for the people in my care. The problem comes in when I try to add meditation to the mix.

Some things that happen when I sit down to meditate.......... I do a couple of cleansing breaths, find my focus, and the phone rings/dogs bark/a walker is moved/someone calls my name/........ OR I find my focus and that focus is almost immediately shoved aside with "is ______ trying to stand up without help/ did I give ______ her/his _______/ what am I going to make for dinner/does anyone have any appointments I forgot about/ did I call _____ about _____/ and on and on and on." ....... OR I find my focus, and the next thing I know, I have relaxed to the point of dozing off. Am I a lost cause of what?

What I console myself with is the fact that this is only one chapter in my life. Time will pass, and I may find myself being able to keep my focus for hours at a time. Right now, I try and focus and relax several times throughout the day. If/when one of the above interuptions happen, I simply shift the focus onto the need at hand, knowing meditation will always be there for me to come back to. It is a lot less stressful than getting upset over the interuption. That is why they call it a practice, because it is always on-going and evolving. If I could do every aspect of it perfectly, I would have no need to pratice would I? Meditation is only one thing on a long list of things I want to get better at, and truthfully, it is not that high on the list, though part of me wishes it were. I think that maybe that is the place to start, finding the desire to move it up on the priority scale , and stop making excuses for why it isn't.

In tomorrow's blog, I will continue this idea of priorities, and maybe shed some light on how I can raise meditation time a point or two higher on my priority list.