Monday, March 31, 2008
As I stated in the past, I AM NOT keeping Fred the cat. One of our resident's has agreed to adopt him instead.
A few nights back, I was sitting in the living room, and (my) Mister wanders in, glances out the window and says, "Hey! There is a cat that looks JUST LIKE FRED, over at the neighbors." It took me a couple of seconds to "hear" what he said then, "What do you mean a cat that looks just like Fred? Is it Fred?" By this time the cat was gone, and Fred was not in the house. We were certain of this because a shake or two from the kitty treat can and all cats within hearing distance are at ones foot within thirty seconds.
Being the smart man that he is, (my) Mister took the can to the streets. He shook it at the end of the driveway and Fred came a runnin from four houses down. Nutty cat...
So, being the nice lady that I am, I took Fred for a check-up on my resident's behalf. My truck is still waiting for transmission work, my youngest was still at work (which was why I had to take Fred in the first place) so that left (my) Mister's truck. Every since the thingy broke off to move the seat forward I drive it as little as possible. This day when I got in, the door wouldn't shut. (my) Mister instructed me to role down the window. The knob on the end of the window crack is broke off and jagged, but I managed. Next, "as you are shutting the door you have to pull up on the door through the open window. Be careful NOT to catch your fingers in the door!" With certain moves my left (post fractured) wrist is still a bit weak, but with a little assistance I got the door shut (opting to worry about how to shut it after the vet visit later) to the parting words of, "better lock it just to be safe." I go to back out and there is no rear view mirror. The passengers side mirror is there, but dangling by a couple of wires. (my) Mister says, "Ya! just lean over a bit and it works just fine."
As I am backing down the driveway I hear in the distance, "Be careful with my baby," and he wasn't talking about Fred.
But you know what? His truck runs great! The ride was smooth, no engine knocks, grinds, or lurches. So what if it has over two hundred thirty thousand miles on it. When I shared with (my) Mister how well I thought the truck ran, his comment was, "I know. It IS a little noisy on the freeway though." Do you think this might be because the door doesn't shut all the way???
There have been some times (especially of late) that we easily could have talked ourselves into taking out a loan or two. Refusing to cross that line not only gives me GREAT blog material (as in the above funny story), it has proven time and again how blessed and taken care of we are. We have all the things we need and then some. The money ALWAYS arrives when we need it for necessities. That truck, with all of it's cosmetic flaws (I prefer the term old-age wrinkles) makes the one-way hour trip to and from work five days a week. It allows me to run my errands while we save up to get the other vehicle fixed. Heck, it even doubles as storage as (my) Mister has the back end filled with crap that was suppose to have found it's way to the junk yard but hasn't as of yet.
Each month we get closer to having our credit card debt paid off and never having to deal with those crooks again. In many ways I feel like I have been sentenced, learned my lesson, and am about to be freed from bondage. Except for our house payment, all the money we earn will FINALLY be ours to spend ANYWAY WE CHOOSE. Most of my adult life, my paychecks were already spent before I received them. The future we are guaranteed to have now (a fab retirement, with money in the back), is definitely worth all the things we have put off having until we had the cash in hand. And I am doubly blessed to have a husband and child that feels the same way as I do and has been willing to sacrifice right along side of me. Money is NOT everything, LOVE IS!
Saturday, March 29, 2008
If you haven't noticed, I sometimes have a strange sense of humor. Here is the latest version of it...
Memory issues are a given around here. Most of the time they are shrugged off, sometime they need a little push. When that happen yesterday, my response was to say:
I thank God every day for attaching body parts or I would spend countless hours searching for my head. Could you imagine if our heads were NOT attached? They would have to create a lost and found for heads. And of course, my head would never be there because people searching for their heads would swipe mine, being that I am so cute and all. I would have to go through life being the headless caregiver...
I can see it now, people that didn't like the way they looked would stand around waiting for a new shipment of lost heads to be delivered and then snatch up all the good looking ones right away (check this out...I have Sandra Bullocks head), leaving many people to continue to wonder "Wherever did I leave my head?"
And imagine the fights that would break out on the street, "Hey! That's my head you have on your shoulders!" Is not/is too/ is not/is... The guys that make fake ids would find their business booming as everyone tried to prove that so and so's head was theirs...
I could go on, but I will spare you... (you're welcome!)
And for the record... I will keep my own head, but if anyone ever hears about a lost and found for thighs please let me know. I have a couple that I would LOVE to replace.
Friday, March 28, 2008
As I sit here to begin this post I am looking out at snow laden tree branches, a good 1.5 inches covering everything in site! WHAT IS THAT ABOUT?
I was a good girl... I dutifully put up with the storm that arrived with March, clinging to the well known fact that when March comes in like a Lion it WILL go out like a Lamb. I just had to hang on for a couple more weeks. And now this? I feel like the Earth isn't spinning on it's correct axis or something.
I hate to tell you how to do your job Mother Nature, BUT ENOUGH WITH THE SNOW ALREADY. I have put my Yaxtrax (the things that go on your running shoes to keep you from slipping in ice and snow) away three times (Yes! The first time was totally wishful thinking on my part.) and I am not getting them out again. If I slip and pull a muscle I am blaming it all on you.
And no... I don't need any cheese to go with my whine... I'm done now.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
In the past three weeks, we have had two new residents move in. The first came to us by way of regular circumstances. I "need" to talk about resident two, but first I have to clarify that what I am going to say are just MY FEELINGS. NOTHING is substantiated, and I am not looking into doing so. This is more of a gut feeling, and maybe a bit educational if any of you have loved one in this stage of life.
A received a call last Thursday inquiring about our place; did we have opening, the rate, yada, yada. I ask the son for some more specifics about his mom and he told me she had been living at a place that as far as I knew has a good reputation in the area, and was quite nice (in the scheme of some of the places out there). He went on to tell me that he felt his mom wasn't receiving good care. For example, she had "lost" her toothbrush and it was a month before they informed him about it so that he could replace it, and when he visited it appeared that her hair was not being combed. Then they raised their rates (to almost five thousand dollars a month), and he felt he was doing his mother a disservice by spending her money for care he felt was lacking. He took her home to live with him and his wife.
He came for a tour that day, and moved his mother in Easter Sunday evening. This woman is what I term, "pleasantly confused," meaning she is sweet, soft spoken, and has trouble remembering where the bathroom and her easy chair are. Day one she was pretty quiet as she checked everything out and worked on getting the lay of the land. Day two (and forward) she began to say things to me like, "Everyone is so nice here," "I'll get better at remembering how to do things for myself. I will," and, "That other place. It was so big, and there were so many people (not able to articulate what she wanted to finish the sentence with), or, "I'm sorry I can't eat all of my food."
As much as I like hearing how nice we all are, my gut tells me it is forefront in her mind because someone wasn't so nice to her. Do I think she was technically abused? NO. If I did I would pursue it with the state. What I do think is some overworked, under paid staff member rushed this resident so that she could get her required tasks finished. I am also thinking that some dignity issues and care standards were less than stellar.
My mind goes back to the woman we cared for last summer that DID have the definite marking of someone that had been abused (hand print bruise on the back of her arm). Her son called me several times before I agreed to increase my license capacity so that we could take her. Though, because of her level of dementia, she was not able to substantiate the abuse, innocent things she said to me confirmed it in my heart and I felt blessed and honored to be able to make her last couple of months of life happy and peaceful. I also continue to have a touch of regret that I didn't get the message and move faster on getting her her.
I can't help wondering if having done that there wasn't some cosmic thing happening that sent this new resident to us before she had to endure what the former resident had gone through. I love the notion that the universe sees me as some kind of Lady Liberty (send me your sick and infirmed... and whatever else it says on her plaque), that can improve the quality of life for our residents.
With the staggering numbers of projected dementia related diseases in the future of our country we have to do something to change the way people with this disease are cared for, as well as what the government sees as being important to regulate. If we don't step up now, it might be us going for a month without having our teeth brushed, or being forced to finish our milk. That is not okay with me.
Now that I have done this business for (almost) five years I am ready to take my knowledge on the road and show others that great care CAN happen, and for a lot less money than it costs to vegetate at a nursing home. I am kicking around some ideas for a book. The current working title is, The Proper Care and Feeding of OPs... You're only old once so make it matter. The only way for things the change is for every individual to speak up and insist on the best care for themselves or the loved one they are in charge of. If we continue to let the system direct the care there will be very few places that I will want to live in. Fortunately for me, I am going to make long term care insurance a MUST HAVE (yes, even over shoes) once I turn 62, and my oldest always fully funds her Roth so between the two I will be able to buy quality care if I need it.
Please join me in thanking the universe for sending me this delightful resident. Also, hold me up in prayer and/or thought as to how I am to fine tweak my message and get it out into the world, and into the normal course of elder care.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
If you recall a few posts back, my youngest had some trouble with my truck when she borrowed it for one of her night classes. As we are saving up for some needed transmission work I opted to drop her off at class and then run a couple of errands with her car while waiting for her class to get over. You know where this story is headed don't you?
Since the arrival of new resident #2, I have had to pick up a few things for the bedrooms, one of them being a new area rug for the room that currently has a couple of throw rugs (dangerous with a walker). Once inside my favorite discount/markdown store I quickly found a first and second choice and headed to the counter to find out the prices. As I am waiting in line I found them on the back of the rugs. Choice one was $99 and choice 2, $39. I told the cashier that I would be good and take the less expensive of the two. She said, "well let me just scan that other one." IT WAS MARKED DOWN TO $20!!! And you don't believe in miracles... Of course I took them both.
I loaded them into the car and got in to head to my next destination, and the car didn't start. With all my new found spiritualism I thought, "Well, I'll just sit here and pray for some angels for a minute and everything will be fine"... Nothing. "Okay, I'll just sit and listen to (my recording of) The Course in Miracles and it will start in a minute." Nothing. "No problem, I will just pray for an angel to come help me." As I said this a guy gets out of a truck in front of me so I ask him if he had jumper cables and he looked at me, says, "nope," and heads into the store without so much as a backwards glance. Then I saw a guy messing with something in the back of a pick up so I walked over and ask him if he would like to be my knight in shinning armour, which he readily agreed to, ceptin neither of us of had jumper cables.
Since I didn't think it was the battery anyway (the car continued to make that obnoxious beeping noise every time I got in and out [with keys in the ignition] It wasn't like anyone could steel it now, could they? and the lights worked) so I gave in and called (my) Mister to send a tow truck, and went back to listening to the Course to pass the thirty minuted estimated time of arrival. About three minutes later two (angel) guys came by and ask if I needed help. I explained the problem (well okay, I told them the car didn't start which is as much as I knew about the problem), and that a truck was on the way but they were certainly welcome to peak under my hood if they wanted to. They were just getting started on diagnosing it when the tow truck arrived (less than 10 minutes. That's what I call service!) so them the three of them had a nice discussion and then tried to jump the car. NOTHING!
If it wasn't the battery, the consensus among the group was that it must be the starter. As the two guys offered their condolences and began to walk away I stopped them and said, "You were my angels that stopped to help me, I can't let you walk away without at least a hug." Group hugging ensued in the parking lot and one of the men gave me a business card for his church and invited me to attend. Even though I have given up organized religion I thought it was a very nice gesture on his part.
Once Bill (not his real name), the tow truck driver got the car hooked up I ask him, "Would it be much of a problem to swing by the college and pick up my daughter on our way?" "We can do that," he agreed, so I called her on her cell, told her to be out front, and off we went.
... "So Bill... What else would you like to share about yourself?" He didn't expect I was going to ride for thirty minutes in silence did he?
He told me he was in his second year at the community college and he was studying to become a master mechanic. Just after we picked up my youngest I got the best idea ever. I told Bill it would be great to have a mechanic in the family with three old vehicles and that he should date my youngest. Never mind that little thing that she is already dating someone. She politely declined so ask her who we could fix him up with if not her. I took a moment to make sure he wasn't dating and when he said no we decided on my daughter's BFF. With the miracle of cell phones we were able to call her up, right there in the tow truck.
"Hi BFF, my mom wants to talk to you, hang on."
"Hi BFF, You love me right? (BFF) "You know I do."
"You would do anything for me right?" (BFF) "Of course."
"Well, I have this really cute boy I want you to go out with so I can get my cars fixed for free." (BFF) "Okay."
After getting the green light from BFF, I checked out Bill a bit more. "Do you smoke?" (Bill) No.
"Do Drugs." (Bill) "I've tried pot, but nothing else." "And you're not going to pressure her into sex right away are you ?" (Bill) "Hardly." "Do you like to bowl?" (Bill) "I suck at it." "That's okay, so do they." "Do you like to go camping?" "My family goes to ___ lake every fourth of July."
I let him off the hook after that and went on to tell him how cute BFF is and that she wears the same size shoe as my daughter and I so how can she be anything but a great gal? This young man took all of this in stride which in my opinion speaks to his character. He gave us his phone number to pass on to BFF (I don't give out phone numbers without permission and she didn't answer her phone the second time we tried). Later, when my daughter called BFF back to go over the conversation, I told BFF that I expect them to name their first born after me... At least her middle name!
What might have been a rotten night was transformed into a great adventure, just because of my attitude. It wasn't going to do me any good to get upset, so I opted to sit back and enjoy the ride.
One lesson that did occur to me, was in regards to the many people that went in and out of the store while I was sitting in the parking lot waiting for a tow. I wasn't upset that they didn't offer help, but it did occur to me that they were doing what I always do. I am always in such a hurry I don't even look at other cars in the parking lot. It made me wonder if I had ever passed anyone needing assistance when I was all wrapped up in the drama called my life? I will try and pay attention from here on out, just in case this is the lesson I was meant to learn from last nights adventure.
Monday, March 24, 2008
The more I do the workbook lessons in A Course in Miracles, the more I recognize the miracles in my life.
First, for those of you that gave up religion, let me say that while the course uses words synonymous with God, IT IS NOT A RELIGION, so don't be afraid of it. The benefit I am getting out of the course is that little voice in my head/gut is not only getting stronger, it is speaking up faster than before. And, just in case there is a perv or two reading this, the voice I am talking about is the one that directs my desire to "Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you," not the other kind of voice.
While I am positive that everyone out there believes me to be perfect, I can piss and moan with the best of you. Over the past couple of weeks I have been doing just that regarding a (medical) situation with one of my residents that HIPPA prohibits me from going into details about. She went to the doctor last week and "Dr. Patty" was VERY unhappy with what WASN'T done. I immediately called a pal that works with in a medical field and vented to her, and of course (my) Mister got an ear full. Then the strangest thing happen...
The following morning, during my meditation time, that voice opened up to me about how this was the totally wrong way to be approaching the problem. All of my complaining and righteousness (a kind word for know-it-all-ism) was only serving to upset me and wouldn't affect the problem in the slightest. The miracle...I was able to let it go right then and there. I passed that problem on to a higher power and am trusting that it will be handled in the best interest of my resident.
And then there was the conversation I had with my son on Friday night. He tends to have a negative outlook on life, and I kept pointing this out to him during the conversation. Being his mom and all I guess I felt justified. And remember this was the evening of the morning that Fred woke me up at 3:00 AM. I was planning on going to bed early, but my youngest went up to our trailer and when she got there at 6PM she called and told us she had forgotten to take the key (Damn that ADHD!) so (sweet) Mister agreed to drive half way up to meet her with the key. Due to the spring snow storm (five inches), the two hour round trip took him three and a half so I had to stay up until 11 PM.
The point is, I had all kinds of dreams about that conversation. In the morning it was clear to me that I needed to make amends for my behavior. NOT for my son's sake, but for me and my soul. I called him (got his voicemail) and explained to him that I had been tired and crabby and was sorry for being so negative about his being negative and that when he had some time I would like a do-over on that conversation. As soon as I hung up the phone I felt like a weight had been lifted off of me.
I have always been very good at giving other people advice, but not so good at taking my own. Now it seems like I am learning to take my own good advice, and by doing so being blessed beyond belief. And if that isn't a miracle I don't know what would be considered one.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Yup, Fred is still among us. And NO! I am not keeping him...
I will confess to mentally trying to hatch a plan in which another family member actually owns him so I get the fun of having him around without having to go back on my word about not keeping him, but that has not taken full-on form as of yet. I did hear through the grapevine that (my) Mister is questioning why Fred is still here "if we are getting rid of him," but he is often confused on many things that go on around here so knows sharing his questions with me won't clear things up any faster than letting time "tell all."
Have I ever told you that in one of my past lives I believe I was the young woman that the fairy tale "The Princess and the Pea" was modeled after? If I have one gain of sand (or any other fleck/speck of foreign body) underneath me I can't sleep? One wrinkle in the sheets (top or bottom) or the lines on the comforter are not lined up EXACTLY straight, I can't relax enough to fall asleep. And to have any pressure on top of the covers when I am under them can bring me out of the deepest of sleep. Makes for some interesting partner sleeping let me tell you.
And remember, I have the only bed in the house without a door to keep critters out.
Well, Fred has taken to climbing into MY bed sometime after his midnight snack! The first couple of nights I would kick him over on to someone Else's side and was able to get back to sleep, but slowly he has taken to curling up next to ME; first, against the back of my legs, this morning into the curve of my waist. ON TOP OF MY COVERS. (BTW, (my)Mister is getting VERY jealous of Fred, since he has tried the same kind of snuggling thing in the past with negative consequences and wonders why Fred gets to lead such a charmed life.)
After throwing him ( gently of course) in bed with my daughter I was up for the day, and we will just leave it with, "and it has been a very productive three and a half hours that might otherwise have been wasted on sleeping."
Know anyone that wants a cat?
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Read this, and then we will chat...
Just up the road from my home is a field, with two horses in it.
From a distance, each horse looks like any other horse. But if you stop your car, or are walking by, you will notice something quite amazing....
Looking into the eyes of one horse will disclose that he is blind. His owner has chosen not to have him put down, but has made a good home for him.
This alone is amazing.
If you stand nearby and listen, you will hear the sound of a bell. Looking around for the source of the sound, you will see that it comes from the smaller horse in the field. Attached to the horse's halter is a small bell.
It lets the blind friend know where the other horse is, so he can follow.
As you stand and watch these two friends, you'll see that the horse with the bell is always checking on the blind horse, and that the blind horse will listen for the bell and then slowly walk to where the other horse is, trusting that he will not be led astray.
When the horse with the bell returns to the shelter of the barn each evening, it stops occasionally and looks back, making sure that the blind friend isn't too far behind to hear the bell.
Good friends are like that ...
You may not always see them, but you know they are always there.
Please listen for my bell and I'll listen for yours.
Be kinder than necessary------
Everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
I had a good five minute cry after reading this. Since it is NOT PMS time I am wondering if I have been unintentionally been being a bad friend to someone? If you are reading this and believe this to be you, please accept my heartfelt apology and let's talk.
I have been pretty self absorbed lately, though I prefer to call it introspective. Working on manifesting new residents, my next career move, the Course in Miracles, and other self-improvement tasks has taken me farther out of the world than just running a home-based 24/7 business ever has. Am I selfish because I am liking it? Having spent MUCH of my life doing for others and putting them first, I am going to say no.
Having said that, I will admit to finding it hard to strike a balance. Black OR white has always been one of my baseline problems. I am either in the world or out, passionately pursuing some new idea or totally coasting on neutral. Blissful or angry at the world, completely consumed or not giving a rat's you-know-what. This doesn't always make it easy for those around me, but when I am on the manic end things DO get done! OMG! Do you think I qualify for a psych diagnosis???
See what I mean?
So, yesterday I got wind of yet another new book, and became completely obsessed with having to have it. Being the dutiful budget(er), I looked it up on Amazon new books and since it is so new, with shipping it would have only saved me a couple of dollars and I would have had to wait days to get it in my possession. I totally figured out how to justify the expense ($25) and got hold of my youngest to have her pick up the book on her way home.
That not being selfish enough, I left poor Mister to do all the night care while I climbed into bed to read for three and a half hours last night (knowing I would have to function today was the only thing that got me to stop reading and go to sleep). That guy is such a blessing in my life!
Oh! The title of the book that got me in such a tither?
THE INSTRUCTION Living the Life Your Soul Intended, by Ainslie MacLeod
I have determined I am a level 9 soul which means I still have some lives to live. Also, that I have issues with a desire for safety, and the challenge of obstinacy and restlessness. To work on these things one taps into their spirit guides, which I have also been working on doing (though not as much as I should have been) since the first of the year. I think they sent me the book to get me back on track with chatting them up on a more regular basis.
I'll let you know if I make any progress.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Dee sent the following to me this morning. I couldn't resist sharing it with the rest of you, along with some comments of my own...
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)
(1) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like
sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the
chips and dip coming.
- Alan, age 10
Or if she likes sports he should be happy to take over OP care so she can do her long runs and go on race vacations whenever she wants to.
(2) No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry.
God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're
- Kristen, age 10
But after you get unstuck of the loser(s), and decide you deserve to be with a nice guy, there will be one just waiting in the wings for your enjoyment.
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
(1) Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by
- Camille, age 10
When it comes to many marriages these days FOREVER has been encapsulated into periods much shorter than twenty-three years thanks to no-fault divorce. Too sad.
(2) No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
- Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)
For sure a fool... My favorite kind of fool... One that is in love
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
(1) You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at
the same kids.
- Derrick, age 8
This one is perfection. The only thing I might add is in addition to yelling at the same kids, they are NOT speaking to one another.
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
(1) Both don't want any more kids.
- Lori, age 8
Can't touch that!
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
(1) Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know
each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)
The one and only "date" I went on with (my) Mister was a disaster. He is much more relaxed and talkative when we are just hanging out at home. Good thing I never cared much for dating.
(2) On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets
them interested enough to go for a second date.
- Martin, age 10 (Who said boys do not have brains)
Not sure whether to laugh or cry at this one. Actually what happen was I laughed until I cried on the first read through.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
(1) I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers
and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-Craig, age 9
Sad, but true, this is what many people do when their marriage goes sour. They make themselves numb to the hurt and pain and stay together long after they should for a variety of reasons. I believe it is never too late to change your mind and fix things (note: I said YOUR mind, NOT the other person's, and "fixing things" can take on a variety of forms).
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
(1) When they're rich.
- Pam, age 7 (I could not have said it better myself)
Also, when they are under three and over eighty.
(2) The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with
- Curt, age 7 (Good Point)
This rule must be where the saying, "sixteen and never been kissed" comes from.
(3 ) The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry
them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
- Howard, age 8 (Who made the rule)
True confessions... I kissed my first boy when I was five years old (Even at a very young age I have NEVER been able to turn down a dare). Does the fact that I went on to marry others make me a loose woman???
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to
clean up after them.
- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)
This is SO true! Single women just have to ask their boyfriends to do things for them and the guy can't resist rescuing (the Rapunzel complex) her by helping. Once married some guys feel like they have done the ultimate rescue and the wife is left on her own with the mundane day-to-day chores. MUST NOTE: My guy helps out around the house all the time. I think I am the one in this relationship with the Rapunzel complex...
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
(1 ) There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
- Kelvin, age 8
Sad to say but I believe relationships would take on a different/better quality if the legal aspect were removed. No fighting over a divorce. Partnerships would have to be worked out as they move along without the fairytale of happily ever after pre-programed in us. If there were no marriage for anyone, same-sex relationships would finally be on an even footing and people would be free to partner with another to share expenses, medical (and other)benefits, tax breaks. Marriage can be (and currently is for me) a really great thing, but it will never be the end all and be all of relationships; Love will never be able to be pigeoned-holed that easily.
And the #1 Favourite is........
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
(1 ) Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
- Ricky, age 10 ( The boy already understands)
2) Tell your wife she is the sexiest cook you have ever known (even if she can't boil water)
3) Always say, "I love you" and give her two compliments before telling her what is really on your mind. If nothing else, over time, it will give a heads up that something is up and she can get a jump start on preparing her defense.
4) Learn to appreciate her interests, if only from the aspect that most of them she will prefer to do with her girlfriends instead of you, leaving you plenty of free time to do what you want to do.
5) Invite her into your world to share in your interests, and resist the urge to try and figure out how she can, no matter the topic, always manage to relate it to shoes (when we go fishing I will need new water shoes for my outfit... when I hold the light over the engine promise you won't drip oil on my shoes... Could you write me a computer program that would automatically take me to all my shoe web sites?)
AND FOR THE GALS.............................
1) It is fine to refer to his parts in a descriptive manner (rock-hard biceps), even name then (Rocky mountain arms), but stay away from sizing things. As "cute" as we think it is he just WON'T appreciate it in any manner or form, (not even if it is a VERY favorable size) and will not be able to help himself from entering into the "comparison conversation" and nothing good has ever been spun out of that one.
2) Early in the relationship try out terms like, "cute, handsome, and stud," to find out which one makes his ears perk up. File this information for those times he seems to have gone totally deaf to you, and can only hear the television set.
3) Always say "I love you" and give him two compliments before telling him what is really on your mind. If nothing else, over time, it will give him a heads up that something is up and he can get a jump start on preparing his defense.
4) If you want your partner to help around the house make sure you can say something positive about the outcome, especially if it didn't come out the way you thought it would.
5) Face it, no matter how much he says he doesn't mind spending hours standing in the shoe store while you look around, it would be better for your marriage in the long run to send him to the book store or sporting goods store while you browse, and meet up for coffee at a pre-appointed time.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Yes, I know that it is St. Patrick's Day (also MY "name-saint," so happy Saint's Day to me!), but this is a post about Easter eggs.
We dyed Easter eggs over the weekend, and had a blast. I even conned (my) Mister into coloring a couple for me by showing him the special one I made "just for him." As we were putting the finishing touches on them I ask my youngest if she would like me to hide some for her to hunt for. So what if she is going to be nineteen in a couple of weeks. Though most of us act like it, there really is no law that we must always act some perceived age. Really! She lit up at the thought of an egg hunt so a plan was hatched (pun intended).
I hid a dozen eggs in the morning, and we all felt like kids again watching as my youngest hunted them down. After she would pass right by one without detecting it I would whisper it's location to the OPs and they would giggle as she overlooked it again, and again. ADHD to the third degree...
And just like I ALWAYS burn the last batch of cookies when I bake, I ALWAYS forget where I hid (at least) one egg so I got to get in on the hunt at the end. Ya! I am all about the fun...
My recommendation for today is to make a list of at least five things that you LOVE doing and pledge to do at least three of them before the end of the week. Oh!... And remember to wear green today, unless, and of course, you LIKE getting pinched...
Friday, March 14, 2008
That stands for Totally Boring Post, so don't say you weren't warned...
For some nutty reason I wanted to share my yesterday with all of you. Sort of a "typical day in the life of Patty."
I started the day with the normal two showers; one for me, one for a resident, made bacon and eggs for breakfast (I had coffee), and then threw together a new recipe for chops in the crock pot (which won rave reviews at the dinner table. Too bad I wasn't there to hear them. I love it when people appreciate my cooking).
Then I played around with the new kitty. I know Random will relate, but I can't seem to stop feeding him people food. JUST TO SEE IF HE'LL EAT IT! To date I have not found anything he doesn't gobble down, including popcorn and potato chips (it was only a tiny piece of each, not an entire bag). Most likely because there isn't much to eat outside this time of year and he is still catching up. And ya, we are calling him Fred now, and NO he is not staying. No one has claimed him yet, and I found out in our state if you feed and water an animal for seven days they become your property (doesn't that sound horrible?). If I don't hear anything by Sunday I am going to put an ad on Craig's list. He is a great cat, personable, pushy, and playful. Mmmmm, sounds like someone else I know... He even has the other two cats to the point where they can be in the same room with him for a few seconds before hissing. See, that "in your face approach" can too be affective in some situations!
But back to my day... I finished up the morning with the regular chores and began putting together an exercise program for our new resident. I haven't played therapist in a long time so it was fun to be reminded of my old job.
After lunch the nurse came. New resident has had type 1 diabetes since age 17 so I am getting a really good education on how to care for that. After more animal antics (no need to go to the zoo when you live here), it was off to my hairdresser with a resident to get her a perm (I have someone to come in and cut and curl hair, but she doesn't like to do in-house perms).
I have gone to the same hairdresser for twenty something years, and have followed her when she changed salons. She changed again, at the beginning of March, and her new place is NOT handicapped accessible. The owner informed me they didn't have to be since they are "grandfathered" in. Has she no idea that sometimes one does things because they are the right thing to do not because one has to? Anyway, (my) Super Mister built a ramp for me to place over the steps as it was the only way we were going to get the resident in the building. Since it is also difficult to get her into a pick-up truck, and the ramp was built out of plywood, we opted to make it steep so it would fit in the trunk of a car, and Wonder Woman (me) could move the thing.
I tell you, I felt like Wonder Woman after I got her in and out of the salon. She is not a small woman and at that angle I had to use all my strength to get her up/keep her from flying down the ramp. I guarantee that none of the woman standing around watching could have done it. Just call me Power Patty.
So while the perm solution was working it's magic, my hairdresser and I problem solved some positioning issues she has been having at the new hair station. Being the boss, I haven't engaged in a brainstorming session in some time, and I had forgotten how much I missed it.
As I mentioned, I needed my youngest,s car for the evening, so she took my truck to her evening college class. Apparently my truck did not like venturing downtown (he is VERY sensitive and old now so I treat him with kid gloves and lots of TLC), because my youngest called when her class was over to inform us that when she stepped on the gas peddle NOTHING HAPPENED. My poor baby (car, not her)! Due to the miracle of Triple-A, we got her (and him) hauled into our town to our mechanic's shop. When (my) Mister went to pick her up he thought the truck worked just fine (I tell you, he HATES big cities. Remember when I took him to Chicago?), but he left him just to get checked out.
I ended my day with desert, a fabulous Splenda sweetened cheese cake I had made earlier in the day. Normally I have been leaving everything sweet alone, but I wanted to try this. It was so creamy, melt on your tongue smooth, that I enjoyed every bit guilt free, and I can't imagine a more perfect ending to a perfect day. So excited to see what today holds!
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
I will work as if I don't need the money, love as if I have never been hurt, and dance as though no one is watching.
I read this quote this morning and thought it worth sharing...
Since I am on marriage number three I am claiming that I have somewhat of a handle on the second one.
I have not been OUT dancing in a long time, but last night, dancing to some jingle tune on Wheel of Fortune, I didn't care one hoot about the older crowd watching me. They were probably just amazed that anyone could move around like that and not fall over from embarrassment.
It has been easier lately to move more and more into "working like I don't need the money" as we get closer and closer to being debt free. I totally know this is cheating and not what the quote is meaning in any shape or form. What I am finding is that for me working like I don't need the money means working my passion. Doing work that brings me joy first and a paycheck second. Or even passing up work that doesn't "feel" right for me.
In the past I have always "worked like someone was watching me." Being in health care I always found it amusing how most workers scurried and panicked when the "big wigs" were coming in for an inspection, or they were due a supervisory visit. Be it a closed door (in the nursing home) or home alone (with a patient doing home care therapy) I always pretended that a higher up was watching me. In other words I always did my job to the best of my ability, so there was no need to panic when my work was being scrutinized. Was I always perfect? Did I have nothing to improve upon? Of course not, One can always learn more and do better. That is called growth, and it is a good thing. Totally different than slacking on most days and faking on important days.
Back to the first line of the quote, by not worrying about lack of money we received the gift of the most perfect new resident. Talk about dream job!!! And there MAY be an extra little bonus that I would have never imagined in a million years attached to her moving in. Until it is completely settled I am going to keep it a secret, but go ahead and start getting excited for me anyway.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Remember one of my New Year's mantra, "The check is in the mail?" Well you are going to LOVE where the latest one came from...
Long time readers might recall that LAST February I took a cruise in conjunction with doing a half marathon in New Orleans. When I cruise I put a cash deposit down once on board to pay for the things I might purchase on the ship. Well, that cruise I didn't spend much so I was cut a check at departure time for the difference. Apparently I didn't cash the check because yesterday I received another check from the cruise line (for $168.47) with a note that said I had not cashed the first one, and if I find it please destroy it.
It is NOT my style to not cash a check. I can't believe that I didn't cash it, and yet I am not even going to try and remember something that may or may not have happened over a year ago. Since I went on the cruise first and did the half second it makes sense that I stuck the check somewhere or trashed it with other things at the hotel. Normally I can tell you down the the penny where all of our money is.
Still, I gotta say that spending a few minutes repeating my mantra is much easier than taking on a second job. To date, the total of "checks that came in the mail" unexpectedly is over $500.00, and this in just over three months. I think it is a great return on my time investment.
And just in case you are interested in manifesting money of your own, another key phrase I have picked up over the past six weeks is, "I am in the process of..."
And then there is my manifestation "debt free/money in the bank" board. The latest addition to it was over the weekend. I made a sign that said, "We own it," and (my) Mister and I held up the sign in front of our house while the youngest took our picture of us. Now that picture is on the board and I am "in the process of living in a paid for house!" Life is good!
Monday, March 10, 2008
Yup, it's been that long, so my self-imposed fasting from blog land is over.
The past six weeks have been really good for/to me, and to try and give you all a re-cap wouldn't do it justice, so I will share a bit about my weekend with you instead...
My youngest has started training for our annual 78 mile trail relay so she decided she would come running with me on Saturday afternoon. As we reached the end of the driveway a young cat came up to us and then started jogging with us down the road. When it stopped at the end of the street, we decided we would deal with the kitty in the cold when we got back if it were still there.
Sure enough, Kitty picked us up when we started down our street, and kept following us right into our garage. What else could we do but give him/her some food, water, and a warm blanket? Kitty knew what to do with everything and was soon curled up in a ball puring contentedly.
Kitty looked to be in VERY good shape. Small, but not scrawny, came when called, and let us pick him/her up like it was the most natural thing in the world. This cat had to belong to someone. My youngest went to several homes on the block and the best that could be discovered was the kitty had been in the neighborhood for three days.
Saturday night, the phone rang and (my) Mister was on the phone for more than two minutes. No one EVER calls him so I ask who it was (he promised to love, honor, and let me be nosy so it was okay to ask), and soon I was talking to a woman about Kitty. Seems one of my neighbors has called her to discuss what she should do about kitty and the woman on the phone told her she would call the people on our street and see if anyone had lost a cat. I shared with her that we had brought the cat into the garage, we are talking about other animal things and all of a sudden she says, "Wait! Is this Patty?" As I was trying to recall if I had said anything I shouldn't have about anyone in the short conversation I replied in the affirmative and ask who I was talking to. Turns out it is one of the women I met and had contact with about the dog park last spring. Once we discovered this she said she would tell the concerned woman not to worry any longer because she knew the kitty was with a lover of animals and would do right by it. What a nice compliment.
So you all know where the story goes from here. By Sunday morning I had deemed that our house guest needed more than the cold garage could offer so kitty was invited inside. I checked for flees and ear mites (clean on both counts...THIS IS AN INSIDE CAT) and washed one of his paws to see if the dingy whiteness came clean. Nope... He has all ecru colored paws, I just thought they were dirty. Not a scratch, hiss, or arching of the back occurred when I was messing with kitty. Talk about a laid back personality.
Currently he is running around the house while the other four pets hide in corners, planning their mutiny. Being psychic and all I can "hear" them thinking. Enough is enough! I'm not sharing my people with one more critter no matter what they think!"
NO!... NO! NO!... We are not keeping Kitty. I will call animal control today and see if anyone has reported him/her missing, and we also have a lead on someone that lost a cat and might be ready to take on another. Anyone out there want a new kitty?