Saturday, July 26, 2008
I have a new slogan, the one above. Let me explain so you can adopt it too.
Without sharing too much information... Young (22 y/o) single mom of two (1 y/o and 3 y/o), MVA (motor vehicle accident) left her with her three lower vertebra fused (L 3,4,5), floppy feet due to nerve damage, and mostly confined to a wheel chair.
Due to a crappy role of the dice (DON'T let your car insurance lap people!), she has only been granted five PT home visits to get her up and walking again.
As her cheer coach (yours truly) was giving her a pep talk about how she (I) was confident this young woman could accomplish anything she desired to accomplish she (the young woman)looked up and said,
"I agree. After all, the wheel chair is ONLY a rental!"
Is that wonderful or what?
How many things could you apply that slogan to in your life?
Having a bad day at the office, "It's only a rental day." Hubby driving you nuts, "He's only a rental." Car cuts you off at the intersection, "Only a rental." YES! I'm talking about the attitude, not actually renting jobs or husbands (though, can you imagine???:). More of a This too shall pass kind of belief instead of taking on a problem, owning, and then allowing that problem to become a part of your identity.
If we could flow through, and with things as they arrive maybe they would pass more quickly? More of that being in the now stuff again I know. But how many times do we hang onto a hurt or a perceived wrong days, months, and even years after the actual event? If we looked at it as a rental, we might just send it back and stop paying the charges it is continuing to cost us emotionally. Think about it. You might just find you have a rental or two you're ready to return.
Friday, July 25, 2008
After the last Attic clean out I had a small to medium pile of boxes to go through to divide up among my three children. Yesterday I actually had a few minutes to go through them. I found the newspapers I saved from the days that my children were born (1979, 1981, and 1989 were the years). I had also saved the paper from December 31, 1999, and January 1, 2000. Remember all the Y2K hullabaloo? I bet there were many people disappointed that morning when it turned out to be just another ordinary day.
Anyway, I also found a selection of writing I had done in high school; poems and short stories. Here's the gist of one poem (?):
This paper was blank before I wrote upon it.
it is not full,
But it's a start.
Feel free to gag. I did! It was still enjoyable to laugh as I remembered how good I thought some of those papers had been and what I could see now. Do you think I will feel the same way about this blog when I read it thirty years from now?
The other cool thing I found were a couple of piles of love letters that my former spouses and I had sent to one another. It was nice to be reminded of how much love there was between us, and easy to see why we opted to get married. For some silly reason all this love gets pushed to the side when one is going through a divorce (at least in my cases it did).
My children were all small when I divorced (3 and 5, and 3), so they have no memory of loving times between their parents. Maybe they will enjoy reading these letters and getting a glimpse of what once was. Maybe they will simply burn them when I die. Either is okay with me, but I am glad that I saved them so they could have the option.
So, I am down to one book shelf to go through. This has crap, I mean mementos of their school days; papers, art work, report cards, school pictures. Once this is divided up then I will turn up the nagging on (my) Mister. He is suppose to be gathering all the important papers (like insurance info, money account info, etc...) into one space, so when he dies I won't have to scramble around for any of it.
What? Of course he is going to die first. He's an old man according to him, and old people die. I told someone just the other day that even when I am eighty I will not be old, and they could only agree with me. But seriously folks. Do you loved ones a favor and get your business affairs in order. In the event that something does happen to you (and we ARE all going to die someday) do you really want them to have to put their grieving on hold why they look for account info to tie up the lose ends of your life? If you love them you won't put them through this. Think of it as a last gift, and throw in a love note of two among the papers for good measure. Just make sure the important papers are in those plastic page protectors because there WILL be tears of gratitude from your loved one for your thoughtful pre-planning.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
First let me share with you that the wedding was wonderful. A Greek wedding ceremony is steeped in ritual and tradition that I found very meaningful, and it has been about seven years since I have been in a church for something other than a funeral so that was also a refreshing change.
Random, I also discovered how it is that you can wear your highest heels out for the night and keep them on the entire time. Translation... Three cosmopolitans and my feet didn't hurt one tiny bit. Seriously the first time I did NOT kick my shoes off the second the dancing started.
And the food, some of the best I ever tasted. Of course after two cosmos I took three bites and was too full to eat my dinner. Tacky or not table twenty-three ask for doggie bags. Knowing the price of the food, along with the taste we could not see wasting it. Do you think this is why they put us in the way back corner?
Regardless we had a nice time and it was great to spend some quality time with my close circle of friends. This coming Saturday we have another wedding to attend (no weddings in three years and now two in two weeks?). This one is taking place in a park and will be night and day different from the Greek wedding, but I am looking forward to it just as much.
A couple of hours ago (two AM my time), as I was waiting to see if the medicine had kicked in for our current hospice resident, I read the following sentence:
What others think of you is really none of your business.
Read it again.
What others think of you is really none of your business.
WOW! I never looked at it from that angle before, but that is a pretty powerful statement!
We, the people, tend to be so concerned about what others think that we are rarely our true selves. Kind of like how table twenty-three had to first discuss just "how tacky was it" to ask for doggie bags at a wedding instead of just doing it. Or why we feel more comfortable walking into a room full of strangers AFTER someone has told us we look good, and our heels TOTALLY rock. Why our favorite things to hear are phrases like, "I see what you mean," and "You're right."
What's the problem with caring what other people think about us?
I think it becomes an issue when it keeps one from being ones self on a soul level; if what others think stops us from extending comfort or support to another because we are not sure of their response. God forbid you offer someone a hug to show you care and they think you're hitting on them. Right?
Trust me, there is nobody out there that should stop and think more than myself before just blurting out some thought, but how many times have you swallowed an expression of true concern because you wondered how it would be received?
It is a wonderful gift to yourself to be able to comfort another, and feel that you have made a difference in the life of another. Don't let ego take that away from you. Since we are all one, what you do unto others you do unto yourself. What you send out you get back, so do some self-nurturing today and perform an act of kindness towards a (perceived) stranger. And remember, how they receive it, is none of your business.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
This picture was forwarded to me by Dee. I am ALMOST ashamed that I find the photo funny. One should not make light of divorce right? Especially someone that has been through it twice, right? But if we can't laugh at ourselves...
Oh! Yes, There were times when I would have happily taken the above brides place. I am grateful those years are behind me. (Yes, Mister, you can relax. It's NOT about you.)The wedding we are going to this afternoon is the first among our circle of friends. The bride and groom are in their mid and late twenties respectively, and I wish for them not only a magical day today, but everyday they share as husband and wife.
I have been told it is to be a BIG, FAT Greek wedding, and will be my first. I shall let you know if it was anything like the movie. Of course, since I turn into a pumpkin after eight in the evening I will probably miss all the good stuff. Such is life for someone that doesn't get out much.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
I just finished sending my oldest an e-mail that was a follow up to a phone conversation last night. The two of us talk about everything and anything, and we are open and honest no matter the topic or how the other might feel about things.
For example, I created some drama a couple of weeks back (see, ego is not fully in check as of yet), having to do with a paper the youngest was writing for her class. I heard the oldest questioning my reason for helping/editing the paper, and I heard her talking to me like she would one of her employees. I am not saying she said the things she said in that way, just that I heard them that way.
So, in my pouty little way, I ignored her for a couple of days (really mature aren't I?) and then when she called next and ask what was wrong I told her that regardless of how old she was I still expected her to speak to me respectfully. Of course she had no clue what I was refering to. Once I shared my opinion she saw things from my point of view and we were able to correct perceptions and move on. A good thing right, since our relationship was once again on an even keel.
After I pushed send on today's e-mail I began to think about the opinions I had expressed and the teasing I did completely confident that she would get the joke and not be upset. This reminded me of our early conversation when I got upset and she didn't have a clue. That got me to thinking about whether or not we should extend the filters we put on our conversations with friends and acquaintances to include our close, intimate relationships.
I don't think so, because I think it would stifle the opportunity for growth on both sides, which is what I believe intimate relationships exist for; growth for the people involved. Since I had a minute to write I thought I would put the question out there and see what the rest of you think about this topic. Please do share. Thanks.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
I hope that it comes across in my posts that I don't scare easy, because really I don't. Having said that, a home care client that I picked up last week had me trembling Sunday evening when I called her to see whether or not she had decided to let me come back. It was probably all tied up in ego thinking and not wanting to be rejected. Something along those lines anyway.
She grudgingly (again, an ego thought for sure) agreed to let me come see her, so Monday, mid-morning I headed over, praying I didn't put my foot in my mouth by saying something wrong.
I went into her home, apologizing for being ten minutes late. In a deadpan voice (NOT an ego statement) she says, "I noticed," so I went on to explain that I had to get my new hospice resident settled before I could leave. She says (without a hint of humor I might add), "I was just kidding." I re-apologized and went in to wash my hands thrilled she hadn't kicked me out.
As I sat down the woman says to me, "Have you ever treated anyone that had a heart valve replaced?" Like I remember??? Praying I wasn't lying and about to turn into a pillar of salt I replied with confidence, "Oh! Yes!" She continues, "Well, tell me about it."
Remember I am already on pins and needles. You know that candy bar commercial when the guy stuffs the bar in his mouth to give himself a chance to think? That was me! It did occur to me to find out what she was really asking instead of just rushing in to talk. I sent up a quick, "shut my mouth Lord and you do the talking," and went into an explanation of no matter what one has done, after a hospital stay muscles are going to be weak and exercise will be helpful. Then I meekly inquired if she knew someone with this problem. "Yes! Me," she replied. Okay. Now what? She went on to explain that she only had 23% of her heart functioning, and her doctor said she might have to have a valve replaced.
I am not a doctor, and not about to give medical advice. I also, can't just say that and then add, "so let's get on with your exercises." Still asking for diving guidance, the words come out, "So, what does your gut tell you to do?" she said with no hesitation, "Have the surgery." "Do you trust your doctor?" "Oh yes!" She replied. I went on to tell her that what she might want to do them is get all the information she could from her doctor, make a list of pros and cons, and if she has spiritual belief and/or a spiritual support system to utilize these things to help her make her decision. After she assured me that she did have spiritual support, I found myself telling her my story of the note I wrote for the OR staff about my angels being present at my surgery and to feel free to rely on them in need be. SHE ACTUALLY SMILED AT ME, and assured me that she thought it was a great idea not a whacked out one (like I suggested she might think at the beginning of the story).
So, now we are BFFs. She told me that her grandson was coming to paint something for her and that she was making him meatloaf and pumpkin pie. We swapped recipes, and even managed to do a few exercises (I had physical therapy progress to document whether or not that was what she needed at this particular visit. JACO doesn't see trust building at documentable progress).
The best part... At the end of my visit, this woman let out a loud sign of relief and said to me, "I feel so much better after talking to you." If you re-read what I said to her, you will note that I said nothing medical, really I said nothing specific at all. What I did do was listen to her and that listening helped her to put voice to what she was feeling, and gain a small feeling of control over what was happening to her; at least for the moment.
So, the way she came across to me as harsh, was simply a cover for her fear. Once she was able to function outside of that, her true personality came through. Thanks be to God!
Oh! And I promised her I would have everyone pray for a good outcome for her. Thanks ya all!
Friday, July 11, 2008
Before I share details, let me share a paragraph from the book The Heart of the Buddha's Teachings. It is s supplement book recommended in the New Earth book club I am attending.
Yes, there is tremendous suffering all over the world, but knowing this need not paralyze us. If we practice mindful breathing, mindful walking, mindful sitting, and working in mindfulness, we try our best to help and we can have peace in our hearts. Worrying does not accomplish anything. Even if you worry twenty times more, it will not change the situation of the world. Even though things are not as we would like, we can still be content, knowing we are trying our best and will continue to do so. If we don't know how to breathe, smile, and live every moment of our life deeply, we will never be able to help anyone. I am happy in the present moment. I do not ask for anything else.
So the past week or so my focus has been on not worrying about things, knowing they will turn out as they are intended to. That is the biggest reason I was able to come to terms with letting Fred go.
Last Sunday, (my) Mister headed up north to bring the trailer home after the youngest had been camping. He called me and told me the truck has died in the middle of the road, just past somewhere (like I know road names?). I ask him why he was calling me, "well because..." I suggested he call AAA instead and let the situation take care of itself. After hanging up I reminded myself that in the now I didn't have truck problems, I was sitting in my living room relaxing. "I am happy in the present moment. I do not ask for anything else." (my) Mister called back about fifteen minutes later and told me he wasn't sure what happen but the truck had started and he was moving again.
Last night my youngest called and said her car was stopped on the side of the road. I ask where she was, and she reported she was on the off ramp of our exit, off to the side out of traffic. RIGHT ACROSS THE ROAD FROM A GAS STATION! She reported that the "add oil" light had come on so I told her to go buy a couple of quarts and dump it in, and then went back to what I was doing. I called her twenty or so minutes later and she reported she was just starting up the car. A nice man had stopped to help her find the place in the car where the oil goes (she shouldn't be driving not knowing this), but that both he and (my) Mister had told her it wasn't an oil problem because there was oil on the dip stick. She put in a quart anyway, on faith from having seen the light flash when the car first stopped. When she got home she says, 'The car runs better than it has in weeks."
Who are we to be granted such great miracles? I have no idea. The three of us sat around last night and gave thanks for the blessings of the week (and there were plenty more than just these two) and for one another. And just think, there are still two day left of the week. Life is great indeed!
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
If you haven't read the comments from the last post, I will fill you in on the e-mail I received from (my) Mister yesterday morning. Don't tell his boss, but he got on line and found a bunch of systems to build an outdoor space for Fred so that he can be happy, roam, and stay safe.
Yes, Fred has purred his way into (my) Mister's heart, but it is much more than that. He is doing all this for me (and our youngest). Call him old fashioned, but in his world a guy takes care of his family. He fixes their problems and rights the wrongs done to them. He has defined himself as our hero, and this Fred fiasco has him shining up his sword and armor.
That's the really wonderful thing about love and commitment, be it partnership, work relationship, or friendship. If the parties involved can define and carry out those two things to the fullest, ego tends to take a back seat.
Some of our biggest fights have been over stupid things like me insisting that he cut drywall a certain way (like I know about construction), or the way he files (I should say DOESN'T file) things. Just yesterday I was snipping at him because he didn't record a debit purchase in the checkbook. Will I ever learn?
Yet, the big things have never been a source of tension for the two of us. We have never fought over money, child raising, or religion. Okay, the kids were pretty much raised by the time we met, and both of us are following a spiritual path and have no need to attend a church, but still... We support each other's dreams. Never once has he degraded my crazy dreams and ideals, instead embracing them and telling me that he knows I will do anything I put my heart and soul in. And I tell him that he better support me or I won't be letting him ride on my coattails once I am rich and famous!
My point? Take a peek at your relationships. Do any of them need polishing? Is your relationship garden in need of weeding, to help it flourish and bloom? Trust me when I say if you make the effort it will be you that comes out the winner. Approach a problem with love and you will receive a miracle for sure.
There is a poem that goes along the lines of, If you love something set it free. If it comes back to you it is yours. If it doesn't it never was. First I have to tell you that one of the creepy guys I used to date sent me this poem and told me he wrote it. I bought it hook line and sinker, and then one day I read it in a published book. Yah! I was that good at picking men back then. My point is, I made the choice to do what I felt was best for Fred, out of love and compassion, and because of another person's love and compassion towards me I got my Freddy boy back. Miracles DO happen every day! Be on the look out and enjoy yours today.
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Yesterday morning one of my neighbors came over and informed me that another neighbor had my Freddy Boy trapped in a live trap. Yes, for you long time readers, this is the same neighbor that has had issue with our dogs.
I had a total meltdown. Upon calling animal control I was told that he did indeed have the right to trap a cat that went onto his property. I broke into uncontrollable sobs over a cat. Not so much that he was trapped, I am sure that Fred just made an adventure out of that, but the idea that he was outside in the sun without water tore me apart. Maybe I have watched too much Animal Planet?
Of course, I couldn't leave to go spring Fred from Jail, but my neighbor went and talked to the guy and he told her he wouldn't give Fred back and that he had to trap him because, 'He just couldn't talk to me." I find this funny because you might recall the letter I wrote to him about the dogs (not a harsh letter at all), that he didn't respond to. The one and only conversation I have had with this man was the time the trash people left trash in the road after dumping mine. He called me threatening to call the city if I didn't get it cleaned up. My reply was to encourage him to call the city on my behalf as I had been calling for two weeks about the sloppy job without success, and that maybe if more of us called the issue would get resolved. He hung up on me.
I had always known that Fred showed up in my life for a reason, and now I am thinking that the reason was to give me a chance to choose not to be angry and bitter at this man for trapping my cat. Reading Tolle's book about pain bodies would leave me to believe that this man behaves like he does to draw other people into his drama with their anger so that his ego can feed off of it. As soon as I was able to push out the horror thoughts about my Freddy being in anything less than stellar conditions I made a conscious choice to pray for this mans happiness. After all, if his life is so miserable that he has nothing better to do with his time than trap neighborhood animals that is totally and completely sad.
Of course I called (my) Mister and sobbed my troubles to him, and then shared the news with our youngest. Above all else, we agreed that we did not want Fred to get trapped again and again by this man. Being a, "Don't fence me in kind of cat" it would also be mean to try and make him a strictly indoor cat, and with all the coming and going around here it would be hard to be successful at that.
Not all relationships are meant to be forever relationships, so to hold onto Fred would be selfish, and not in his best interest. We decided we would surrender Fred to animal control. In tears, I dug out his little life book and wrote the following letter to send with him to increase his chances at adoption:
My name is Fred and I am the best ever cat in the world.
Why am I here then? Because I like to roam, and we have a neighbor that does not appreciate that reality. My mommy takes care of senior citizens and can’t leave the house to come find me when I get out so she sent me here to find a new, really great family to take care of me.
I like to go for walks with the family dogs if you have them. I don’t need a leash, but will follow behind and stay right with the group. I have a fabulous personality and promise to make you smile and laugh all day long.
My mommy rescued me from the snow and cold this past March when I jogged the block with her. Unable to find my previous parents, she took me into her home and heart.
My family had been saving up to get me de-clawed and fixed, but you will have to take care of that for me now. Trust me, I will be well worth the effort in entertainment value.
Mommy says I am the most charismatic cat that she has ever met, and that she is thankful for the time that I was in her life. She also says that she will be eternally grateful for whoever gives me a home next.
Will that be you?
I was so proud of our youngest. She called me up and shared with me that she was about half-way through her anger and working towards forgiveness for this man. Like me, the part that bothered her was that he trapped Fred without water and didn't come to us with his concerns.
I had to go do some home care in the afternoon (red eyes and all) so the youngest was here when animal control brought back Fred. She went out to his truck, held out Fred's life book and said, "You have to keep him," and promptly burst into tears. The officer calmed her down, and told her the guy is known for doing this kind of thing but there is nothing that they can do to stop it. He also told her he could tell that Fred was a special cat and he didn't want to see him put down. The officer told her that she needed to keep Fred over night and talk to her mother about what we wanted to do long term.
So Fred came home, plopped down in his favorite chair and took a nap, unfazed by it all. Told you he was a cool cat.
When I walked in the door from seeing clients the first thing I noticed was (my) Mister's red eyes. Since my ego was totally convinced he was jealous of Fred I found this interesting. As we talked about the situation what came out was, "I'm pissed! He made my wife cry." Isn't that the sweetest, most romantic thing you ever heard? A little behind us, he eventually made peace with the fact that the honorable thing to do was find Fred a new home, and send love and blessings to the neighbor. I hope to compose a letter to him today, and will share it when I do.
In the meantime please send good thoughts to Fred that he enjoy his next adventure and that the universe assists in leading him to the perfect new home where he can teach his next life lesson to a deserving family.
Monday, July 07, 2008
I am taking a psychic development class, and one of the things that the instructor had us do was to take this quiz to help us figure if we lean towards being clairvoyance (visual), clairsantience (feeling), clairaudiance (hearing), or claircognisance (mind). I am not going to reproduce the entire thing, but if someone wants to take it, let me know and I will give it to you. Basically, the questions are designed to tally how you react to your environment as described above.
This quiz was really hard for me as will become clear as I share the questions with you.
1) What is the first thing that comes to mind the last time you went out to eat?
I honestly couldn't remember the last time I went out to eat.
2) If you were trapped on a deserted island, you would rather have your favorite a) pictures, b) set of comfy clothes, c) CD/MP3 player, d) books.
I would find taking my cat Fred much better company and entertaining, but at least I was able to pick an answer for this one...books.
3) Ask about vacations, a) scenic tour, b) pampered cruise, c) touring with your favorite band, d) working vacation.
There is no place like home.
4) When you arrive at a social gathering or party, you first: a) notice what everyone is wearing, b) find a comfy spot to sit, c) take note of the music, d) map out your environment.
I take a look around to see what needs doing and then take care of it. That is how all of my friends are.
5) When you are talking about your brand new car, you first mention:
I have NEVER purchased a brand new car, never desired to do so, and never plan to do so in the future. I love and appreciate my old, paid for cars.
6) Your friends usually ask you a) does this outfit match, b) why is s/he acting this way, c) what is the word I am looking for, d) how do you get to ____ from here.
All of the above and lots more. My mom should have named me Abby.
7) You are most likely to say, a) I've got the blues today, b) I feel kind of down, c) nothing sounds good right now, d) I think I'm depressed.
I have made it a point to not say anything of this nature because my thoughts create my reality, and I don't give credence to negative thoughts.
8) What do you remember best about your first date a) eye color, butterflies, conversation, random details.
Once I decided what constituted my first date, I remembered it was a group treasure hunt, so then I went back to whether a group thing was a true date or not, got lost on a tangent and decided to just pick "d."
9) You prefer to learn by a) reading or diagrams, b)tactile, c) verbal, D) you just seem to pick it up.
I really need to utilize the first three to cement things into my memory.
10) Your ideal first job would have been a) at a museum, b) daycare or candy striper, c) music store, d) real world job
All I ever dreamed of being was a wife and mother so I picked "b," but now that I am typing this I realize that after being a wife and mother for many years I should have picked "d." What is more real world than being a wife (husband) and mother (father)?
11) Your worst class in high school was?
FINALLY, one I could answer without hesitation, b) math.
12) Favorite class in high school, again, b, the one with your favorite teacher of the school year.
Which happen to be ALL of my classes. As long as I was out of my crappy home environment I was happy with being anyplace else, even math class. It only got the worst class award because of the grade I got, but I loved the teacher.
So, did I make too much of the questions, or over-think them? That's okay... I just relied on my developing psychic feelings and ended up determining that I am prone to using clairsentience. But then we already knew I was a feeling kind of gal didn't we? What brand of psychic are you?
Sunday, July 06, 2008
The following story was sent to me and I enjoyed it so much that I thought I would share it with all of you. Consider it food for thought.
I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport . We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his breaks, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly.
So I asked, "Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!"
This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, "The Law of the Garbage Truck."
He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you.
Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.
The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day.
Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so..... Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't.
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
I got a phone call Monday morning from the couple I was to provide labor support for. As soon as I heard her voice I ask, "Are you in labor?" Her reply, "Well, I was!" As it turns out she was at the hospital for about an hour before the baby was born. Since it was three in the morning, she was waiting to call me. I was so thrilled for them that I couldn't even be disappointed about not being there. She also told me how all the things we talked about really helped her husband be a good support for the short labor. They are such special people that she probably told me that to make me feel better, but I am claiming it as being helpful anyway. BTW, baby is healthy, and according to his mommy, "VERY hansom."
Just as well I wasn't needed at the hospital over the weekend as we have a new hospice resident that moved in on Saturday. Hippa being Hippa, let me just say that he arrived with a bad reputation. Let me also say that the man is dying, and facing a lot of regrets about choices he made in the past. If you put yourself in his place can't you see yourself acting out in one way or another?
So, if you have not done so already, stop living a life of regret before it is your too late. If you have fences to mend, get mending. If you have plans and dreams, get going on shifting them into reality. Stop thinking, "I can't," and get on with, "How?" All things ARE possible for those that truly believe.
This post is not written to brag, or get an ego rush (though ego is pretty pleased with my accomplishments), but to remind everyone to stop and step into the other person's shoes the next time someone is short with you or has an over the top reaction to something or someone. Remember that one doesn't always know the full, behind the scene story.
By reminding myself (every few seconds at first) not to take his reactions personally, and giving him unconditional positive regard, he has become calm, thankful, and expressing gratitude for his surroundings. Trust me, this was not by my doing. For the first two days I went anywhere near him I first prayed that God keep MY mouth shut and that he say the words that this man needed to hear in order to trust that we had his best interest at heart. In addition, the entire time I was with him I was keeping a running plea in my head for help from all of my (and his) angels. Now that I have learned a bit about how he likes things I am starting to trust myself to go into a conversation without so much care, and things are fine. It has been an amazing blessing to be a part of this transformation, and I am the one that is blessed.
If I don't get back to post before, have a safe, happy holiday. My oldest will be turning twenty-nine on the fourth of July. How time flies when we're having fun!