Lessons..................................

The more I do the workbook lessons in A Course in Miracles, the more I recognize the miracles in my life.

First, for those of you that gave up religion, let me say that while the course uses words synonymous with God, IT IS NOT A RELIGION, so don't be afraid of it. The benefit I am getting out of the course is that little voice in my head/gut is not only getting stronger, it is speaking up faster than before. And, just in case there is a perv or two reading this, the voice I am talking about is the one that directs my desire to "Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you," not the other kind of voice.

While I am positive that everyone out there believes me to be perfect, I can piss and moan with the best of you. Over the past couple of weeks I have been doing just that regarding a (medical) situation with one of my residents that HIPPA prohibits me from going into details about. She went to the doctor last week and "Dr. Patty" was VERY unhappy with what WASN'T done. I immediately called a pal that works with in a medical field and vented to her, and of course (my) Mister got an ear full. Then the strangest thing happen...

The following morning, during my meditation time, that voice opened up to me about how this was the totally wrong way to be approaching the problem. All of my complaining and righteousness (a kind word for know-it-all-ism) was only serving to upset me and wouldn't affect the problem in the slightest. The miracle...I was able to let it go right then and there. I passed that problem on to a higher power and am trusting that it will be handled in the best interest of my resident.

And then there was the conversation I had with my son on Friday night. He tends to have a negative outlook on life, and I kept pointing this out to him during the conversation. Being his mom and all I guess I felt justified. And remember this was the evening of the morning that Fred woke me up at 3:00 AM. I was planning on going to bed early, but my youngest went up to our trailer and when she got there at 6PM she called and told us she had forgotten to take the key (Damn that ADHD!) so (sweet) Mister agreed to drive half way up to meet her with the key. Due to the spring snow storm (five inches), the two hour round trip took him three and a half so I had to stay up until 11 PM.

The point is, I had all kinds of dreams about that conversation. In the morning it was clear to me that I needed to make amends for my behavior. NOT for my son's sake, but for me and my soul. I called him (got his voicemail) and explained to him that I had been tired and crabby and was sorry for being so negative about his being negative and that when he had some time I would like a do-over on that conversation. As soon as I hung up the phone I felt like a weight had been lifted off of me.

I have always been very good at giving other people advice, but not so good at taking my own. Now it seems like I am learning to take my own good advice, and by doing so being blessed beyond belief. And if that isn't a miracle I don't know what would be considered one.