Why do we do that?.............................

A few days ago, I had a conversation with someone that was upset. Seems one of her co-workers called in sick, because she couldn't sleep the night before. The upset person's take on the situation was "I haven't sleep IN THREE YEARS, and I have NEVER called in sick because of it!"

Day before yesterday, a different person was commenting on the same type of thing. She was questioning someone's "poor me" attitude. Wondering out loud why she was able to "Muster on" in the face of adversity, and the other person seemed to receive support to fall apart, letting others take over her responsibilities.

Yesterday, I woke up with an extreamely stiff neck. I had no range of motion to the left without shooting pain, and very limited up and down movement. Regardless of my pain, residents still needed to be washed, dressed, fed, walked, etc... I remember thinking, "Sick day? What's a sick day?" as I was feeling sorry for myself. That is one problem with being your own boss I guess. I also began thinking just what it might take for me to ask for help and stay in bed.

Why is it that some of us have an easier time asking for assistance than others? Why do some of us opt to take care of everything we can, sometimes up to the point of doing so much that our body finally rebels against our efforts and becomes ill? In the midst of our "slaving away" why do we look around us and condemn the choices of others? There has been many times that I voiced jealousy about what I perceived as someones "easy life." What is really going on with these feelings?

The last time I checked, bondage has been out-lawed. No one holds a gun to my head to get me to do the things I do, and make the choices I make. If I really felt the need to have someone stand in for me yesterday, I could have found someone. I really never let that idea be an option. (And....... After yesterday's no excuses blog, I didn't let my stiff neck stop me from running either. I think the jaring motion actually helped to loosen up the muscles a little bit.) Did anybody criticize me for my choices? (If they did, they didn't say it out loud.) Why then, am I so quick to pass judgement on another's choices?

I could give you all kinds of examples in which I felt my needs were not met when I ask for help, and this is why I don't bother now. Pretty much this would just lead back to me being the ultimate control freak....... "Help me! But make darn sure you help me EXACTLY like I want to be helped or it will count against you." And yet isn't it my right to get my needs addressed in a way that fullfills me? Oh right! This is life, not a fairy tale.....................

When I was a child, nothing I did was good enough, and was always criticized. When my kids were growing up, I had to learn that if I ask for their help I needed to either tell them "I wanted the house cleaned Mom's way," (example: take the items off the table to dust, and vacuum under things not just around them.) or shut up about the job they did. I learned to shut up most of the time, and take advantage of special occasions (my birthday, mother's day, and Santa is coming in less than a week, and he doesn't leave presents at dirty houses!)

Not that long ago, (my) Mister was down with back pain. I took care of him, just like I would have liked to be taken care of. (And received no complaints about the service from him by the way.) I remember, when he was getting better, telling him that he should be taking notes in his planner as to what I did for him, as it would make a perfect primer to follow the next time I was sick. Telling that to a friend, her reply was, "My favorite is when I am so sick I can't even lift my head off the pillow and one of my family members comes in and ask when I am going to make dinner!" I don't have it that bad, but it would be nice if my family could figure out that when I am sick in bed I really don't care what kind of fruit and/or veggies they serve. If we are out of toilet paper, Kleenex will do in a pinch, and who's socks are whos can wait until I am feeling better. Can any of you relate to what I am saying? Maybe we should all put our heads together and come up with the top twenty-five things to do or NOT DO (Or two lists with twenty-five things to do AND not do.) when mom isn't feeling well. Maybe later...... Right now someone needs me to do something for them!