A death in the family..................................

The resident that has lived with us longest, has completed his transition from this life to the next, and is again by his beloved wife's side. She had left this world four years ago, and he has missed her desperately. He misses her no more!

Hospice was brought in by his doctor, about three weeks ago, and they were a wonderful help and support for both his family and ours. Of course helping me, meant that they allowed me to help them.

Earlier today, the aide came to help the nurse give him a bed bath. A few days ago, when he could still verbalize, he thanked me for taking such good care of him, and expressed concern about what would happen when he could no longer talk. I told him, when that time came, I would do my best to be sure he had everything he needed. Hospice met MY NEED to be the in there washing him, and making sure he was treated with tender loving care, just as I promised him I would. I can't tell you how much I appreciated being able to continue to care for him until he no longer required care in this world. Right up until he passed on, he continued to provide for me, by allowing me to provide for him. Now, that's love!

Over the past several days, I have been thinking that the preparation for both birth and death, have many simularities. At least in my world, you pick out a special outfit for going home in. As the event gets closer, you attempt to provide an atmosphere of peace, calm, and rest, to prepare for the hard work ahead. Both occasions cause tears to flow; while I cry tears of sadness for me, (simular to what a baby sheds when being booted out of the nice warm womb) I can only shed tears of joy for him.

I am fortunate that I have a belief that the life we live on Earth is not all there is. I can respect another's view that once your heart stops beating, that is the end. I just can't imagine how they survive the loss of a loved one without the hope of better things beyond? Look at the seasons, and how nature is renewed year after year, by the old dying plants as their seasons come to an end. Doesn't it make sense then, that we too have a purpose and a reason as our season on Earth comes to a close?

When things get hard for me, one saying that always makes them better is "Great is our reward in Heaven." I will not debate the truth in the statement...... It works for me. But then, I am also of the belief that I don't care if I have the placebo, as long as it works for me. I am happy in my belief that as our resident's suffering came to a close, his true joy began. I am comforted by this belief, and that is all I can ask for in our time of loss.

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I wrote that yesterday, right after his passing. Thanks for being here to listen to me, and let me get it out. The process is soooo important. While I was typing the above, the hospice nurse was making phone calls, his close relationships were spending time saying good-bye, and life was going forward in the mist of all of that. The funeral home came to collect his body, and as they wheeled it out, my mind traveled back to the first day he entered my door, my life, and my heart. I learned many things from him over the past two years, and maybe even taught him a thing or too. ( At his age of ninty-eight, the phrase "I've seen it all carries a little more meaning, don't ya think?) Our lives have been enriched, though knowing him, and it gives me great comfort and peace knowing that we played a role in his being able to write his ending exactly the way he wanted it to go. Life is indeed good!