She's growing up soooooo fast......................

Last night, I called my youngest in to help me do something. As she was coming down the hall towards me, I heard her muttering something to the effect of "Well I guess having a temper tantrum didn't do me any good." As she came into the room I ask her what she had said, and she sheepishly replied, "You weren't suppose to hear that." She helped me with the task, and I couldn't help but feel a little sad that she was coming to understand what divides adults from children. When we grow up............................. Temper tantrums loose their effect!

We have all witnessed the perfect two-year-old temper tantrum haven't we? It is much more enjoyable if it is someone else's two-year-old, rather than your own. When these melt downs happen in a public place, most people think things like, "That poor mom." Or, "Why can't that woman control her kid?" What is usually going through my mind is more like, "I'm right there with ya kid! Enjoy it while you can, because before you know it, you're going to have to hide your feelings just like the rest of us." You're telling me you have NEVER been so tired and frustrated at something that you haven't wanted just to throw your self on the floor and kick and scream until somebody listens to your needs? Right.

In our old fashioned movie theater, they have what they call a "cry room" upstairs where people with small kids can go, still see the movie, but not be heard by the rest of the audience. Maybe more public places should devote some space to cry rooms for those of us that need to blow off a little steam. Imagine...... There would be an attendant who would watch your shopping cart for you, while you went in. Inside you would find newspapers, magazines, and phone books, that you could tear to your hearts content. (The various thickness's would be a requirement to cover all levels of rage....... Another attendant would be inside, passing these out, based on your facial expressions. You. I think you will be fine after ripping up the sports page. YOU! You definitely need the New York City phone book. And a chair....... I think you might be here a while getting it all out.) Of course the rooms would be sound proof, but they would also have pillows with disposable covers on them to scream into. (We still need to be courteous and respectful of other's feelings when in the cry room. Not to mention the guy with the phone book might throw it at you if your screaming irritates him further.) After spending time in the cry room, you simply gather up your cart and continue on with your shopping, relaxed and refreshed. Sounds good doesn't it?

Unfortunately, no one has marketed this idea as of yet. (Feel free to steal my idea and run with it. Who would have thought they would ever put coffee shops in every store, and yet.........) As a way of coping, we begin to teach children at a young age to keep their feelings inside. I have always maintained that we teach our kids to talk and walk, to tell them to shut up and sit down. I will be the first one to admit to being guilty of this. Back when I was doing child care, I employed the use of a "time out corner" for everything from hitting, to biting, to temper tantrums. Many a kid would commit an offense, and then say "I know. I'm going." without me having to say a word.

I understand that as a society we need rules and structure to get along. It's just kind of sad that I have to be dragged (or drag myself) from store, to store, to store. Have my safe, comfortable, predictable schedule blown to bits. Maybe take time to eat, maybe dig through my purse to find a crumbly, who knows how old, peanut butter cracker to tide me over while I endure ONE more store, that turns out to be ten more. Is it any wonder that by the time I hit store number eleven I am finding it extreamly difficult to keep it together. When I am told that they are all out of the ice cream I want (Note: The promise of getting some was the only thing keeping me under contol in the last eight stores.) not to mention (the look that I get from) the person telling me they are all out is also saying "You shouldn't have it anyway, it will spoil your waistline." How can I NOT loose it? I didn't ask to do any of these errands. It is NOT my idea of a good time. I was given NO choice in the matter. (Even if I was given a choice, and it sounded like fun in the beginning, I am SOOOOOOO over it now, and can't even begin to remember why I thought it sounded like a good time.) And yet, I am expected to continue to keep a smile on my face, AND a pleasant attitude the whole day long. Asking a lot, isn't it?

I'm sure there are at least one of two of you out there that are disagreeing with me right now. You're saying, "I know several adults who function by having temper tantrums all the time." (Can you say boss?) You're right. We might hide it a little better than a two-year-old, but it happens. A snide remark here, an inuendo there, here a slam, there a glare, everywhere a grumble grumble. (Oh! Wait! That's the tune used for Old MacDonald Had A Farm.) I, myself, have been known to pull off a temper tantum or two to get my way with (my) Mister. (Not me?) He is the only one in my life that let's me get away with it. Everyone else expects me to act like a grown-up. And let me tell you.............. Boy! Does that make me mad!