Designer eggs?...............

As in ovaries that is; picking the traits you want your un-born child to have, and then ordering them from a doner bank.

I heard this story on the news this morning. Of course there are all kinds of ethical issues surrounding this topic as well as the notion of playing God. That is not what I want to chat about, well maybe but not directly. The article just got me to thinking what I might have choosen to leave off the trait list HAD I "ordered" my children.

Two of my three children have documented learning disabilities. While their lives might have been easier here and there, and I would not have had to conquer those guilt feelings that I somehow/some way "gave" them their disabilities, I really don't think I have ever wished them away. Let me say that their disabilities are minor in comparision to many, and it is not my intent to make judgements here. The point I want to make is that the gift of their disabilities made both of my children stronger. Learning to cope with the struggles, the tauntings, the frustrations caused growth that they have both used in all areas of their lives. They learned to laugh through the frustration, and pick up and start again over and over until those traits, and not the disability, became the norm. Was it always easy? Anything worth having is rarely easy. Have I longed to take away their pain while watching them struggle? Of course, but what parent enjoys seeing their child in pain? Part of life is making mistakes, learning from those mistakes, and moving on to learn other life lessons, and make other mistakes.

My child that has no documented disablilities is a major type A personality. This nature has caused her just as many stuggles. Had I been able to, should I have choosen to remove this trait from her gene pool? Would her life have been better/easier/more enjoyable if she were able to stop and smell the roses more often? Or would she have missed out on opportunities that, finally conquered, have given her moments of satifaction and joy?

Would my children have become more successful (had/have a better life) had I choosen red hair, green eyes, or any other combinations of hair/eye color? What about skin tone? I am sure if I looked long and hard enough I could find studies to support any mix of the above mentioned physical traits. Do Ken and Barbie looks really guarantee greater success? (The bigger question might be should they?)

I think not! I am a believer that our thoughts create our realities. If any of us focus on the nose we hate, the freckles on the end of it, or the fact that we flunked our road test the first time out (Hey! I've made peace with that one) those things will most likely have a negative effect on our lives. Do you believe me, who has just had cosmetic surgery to improve her looks dare to type that sentence?

I feel okay about doing so because I never let the things I had repaired keep me from doing anything. I never let them keep me from lining up at the start line (or cross the finish line), or imagined that my big belly and saggy boobs would keep me from obtaining any dream I wanted to go after. My surgery became a goal for me along the way towards getting healthy. What has changed for me since the surgery is now I don't have to fight against as negative a body image the next time I line up beside all those skinny minnies at the start of a race. Now I will only be compairing my fat thighs against their lean muscular ones. See, surgery is NOT the way to deal with a negative body image. It has to be delt with from the inside out. Get with the program brain!

Anyway, while I am sure my children, as well as everyone else in my world, have things they would like to change about themselves, I want to say here for the record, I wouldn't change a thing about any of you. And yes, you have my permission to use this post against me the next time you feel like I am trying to do so.