Baby it's cold INSIDE...............

Either my youngest didn't latch the french doors when she let the dogs out for the last time last evening, or else (our dog Emma has learned how to open them. Either way, one of the doors was wide open when I came upstairs this morning and it was nice and refreshingly FREEZING in my house. Okay, the thermostat said sixty-eight not thirty-two, but when the house is normally in the mid-seventies it felt pretty cold.

My point? As I was deciding whether I should just yell at my youngest to be more careful to make sure the door it shut, or yell at her and tell her she has to pay next months gas bill, I decided that instead I would be grateful for the fact that my youngest was being a good mother and caring for her pets so I didn't have to do it, and grateful for the fact that the few extra dollars we will spend on natural gas will not destitute us (though the idea of paying even one penny more to the gas company makes me cringe because of how high our bill is now. On the budget plan, we pay one hundred and one dollar per month, year round. For that much money you'd think they could throw in a free unit of two. To round things out, we pay two hundred and thirty-two dollars per month, year round for electricity. At least three hundred and thiry-three dollars is a nice easy number to remember for the budgeting of utilities isn't it now?)

Back on track...deciding to be practice gratitude...

Gratitude is a choice. One I wasn't choosing an hour after I went to sleep last night only to be woke up by a thumping noise. It was one of my residents trying to rescue a pin she had dropped on the floor. No, she wasn't using her walker, and I should have been grateful that I had heard a thump instead of a THUD which would indicate the she had fallen because she wasn't using her walker. Nope! I could only focus on getting her safely back in bed so I could return to mine.

I also wasn't grateful for the fact that I got two whole hours of uninterupted sleep before again being woke by a noise. This time it was resident number two. She was having a night-terror and needed to be woke up and then settled down again so she could go back to sleep. As miracles would have it, I too was able to drift back off to sleep rather quickly (for me) upon returning to my bed, as I did each of the four times (it is normal for me to wake up every hour on the hour) I woke up between two and five. I consider this a good nights sleep (compairing it to the normal once I wake up it can be hours before I can drift back off) and yet I wanted more.

I have so much to be grateful for, and yet my normal reaction is to complain about the things that I don't get/have. This seems to be an on-going stuggle doesn't it? It isn't that I am never grateful for the good in my life, just that the more I acheive, the more I want. And I am talking about personal growth, as well as material things. Will enough ever be enough?

Which then leads me to think about dreams and goals. If enough finally becomes enough, then what happens to the goals and dreams that give me reason to get out of bed and do the things I do durning a day? If can't be okay with just drifting along not working to improve things, does this mean I can't be truly grateful?

For me, the goal/dream is to be grateful in the moment, for the moment, not letting sight of the fact that life is about the journey not the destination. No matter what I do, I am sure that I will never get exactly any one moment back, and I will never be in exactly the same state that I am at any given momemt. That, being a given, is what spurs me on to my goals and dreams. If change is inevitable, then I want that change to be the best it can be. The role of gratitude is to help me to appreciate, and stay true to my life's path, whatever twists and turns it might take. Think of gratitude like one of those new-fangled navigation systems. It is the gratitude for the momements that leads us down the path that is right for us, and brings us contentment along the way.

So what path are you currently traveling on? Are you pleased with your progress, or are you lost and looking for directions? Practice gratitude for the moment and see if it doesn't just lead you to right where you need to be.