The Good, the Bad, and the..... I'm pretty Proud!"........

I had my monthly check-up with my trainer yesterday. The good news is I didn't cry.......Not one single tear. (I am thinking he would agree that this fact was good news too.) Two weeks ago, when I had my respite resident, I didn't work in three days of lifting, but only one. Since that time I have felt like I was really weak during my lifting sessions at home. The good news is my trainer did not agree with me! We did lots of new things, such as three sets (instead of two) increasing the weights each time, while decreasing the reps. (by two) We did this plate loaded (something or other........It is sorta like doing a squat laying on your back.) which is for you legs. (He says really good for runners as it hits all those target muscles.) By the third set I was pushing ninty pounds! Pretty impressed aren't you? Bottom line, is by the end of our session every single (major) muscle in my body was shaking (and it wasn't because I was laughing, though I do tend to ingage my entire body when I laugh.) but I felt really good. Both physically and mentally. That work-out was just the boost I needed the week before my race. I am feeling pretty proud of my efforts. (Right now anyway!)

Before I move on, refering back to ways I save money......... I know that one could think I am spending lots of money on a personal trainer. The bottom line is....... Not really. I joined the Y for three months and hired the personal trainer to teach me to lift. I think that cost about five hundred dollars, but think of the potential savings in avoiding doctor visits because I am fit, in shape, and know what I am doing to avoid injury. (I also spaced my training visits out so I had two left for the month after my membership ran out so It was almost like having a four month membership. That works out to a little over one hundred dollars a month, which is less than some of us blow eating out each month.) At our Y, non-member training visits cost sixty dollars an hour (or if you buy five, you get one free.) I have been going once a month. Not only does this keep me on track, (we all know how I like that accountability factor!) it is a way to make sure I have not gotten sloppy with my technique and I always walk away having learned a new move or two. This helps me stick with things at home, and not get bored. I don't know about your doctor, but when I have to visit mine, an office visit costs one hundred dollars and my insurance doesn't pay for this. (Which I cannot understand because I have Blue Cross traditional, which is suppose to be a good insurance. Apparently they are not good enough to see the benefit in preventative care..... Like they don't pay for birth control, but they will pay for a kid on ones plan for twenty something years if you have an unplanned pregnancy..... Don't get me started.....) Don't tell anyone, but I haven't been to my doctor in over three years. The last time I went was when I was approaching two hundred and twenty pounds and I ask her for some pills to help me lose weight (Hey! I was so grossly out of shape what would chemicals have hurt at that point?) She suggested I join weight watchers (A good suggestion by the way!) and that was the end of the discussion. Her response pissed me off (Don't ask why?) and I pledged I would lose weight on my own, without her help. I also decided (Don't ask how I came up with the number?) that I would not go back to see her until the scales reads one hundred-forty something. Since I have been hanging in the one-fifties for some time now, I guess it is a good thing I don't get sick often. Isn't it?

Getting back to my previous mention of "the bad"......... In my defense, I could have done worse........... I had a half of a mug of hot chocolate last evening. Man! Was it good! I made it from scratch with both dark chocolate and semi-sweet Ghirardelli chocolate, and just a little bit of sugar. (The white, not even the tiniest bit good for you, totally processed, kind.) And of course milk. I made it in a double boiler (a pan over a pan of boiling water) so as not to cook it too fast. It took me about twenty minutes, and though it sounds weird, it was as if I started consuming it when I started making it. (You know how they say it takes twenty minutes for your stomach to get the message you have eaten...... Well, stomach was feeling that kind of satifaction by the time it was finished...... Mouth, not so much.) I think it was because I made such a process out of the whole deal. Anyway, I poured only a half of a mug and put some light redi-whip on top. (Opting for this over marshmallows...... My daughter had both on hers. She is skinny enough to be able to pull that off.) Then I drank it one iced tea spoonful at a time. IT WAS SOOOOOO GOOD! And I was totally saftified by the time the mug was empty. (And yes! So was mouth!)

Just in case you are still in the dark about "the bad........ The bad is that I gave into temptation during this season of Lent. This is quickly followed by the good fact that Lent is ALL about forgivness and grace, so that slip is behind me never to be held against me again. I will (MORE than likely) have to wrestle with this subject (of poor eating choices) again. (And again, and again and......) What is important to remember is that I have friends like forgivness and grace to help me wrestle with all of my demons (no matter what they may be) until I am able to gain control over them. If I choose too, I can always rely on grace and forgivness to get me through a tough time, rather than choose to beat myself up and attack my fragile self-esteem.

As I was typing the last paragraph, two phrases continued to run through my head. Both of them were things that the priest at the church I used to attend said often. "If you are going to sin, sin boldly." And (after receiving absolution after confession) "Go forth, and sin no more." Translation........ I made that hot chocolate with full awareness that I was breaking my choosen Lenten fast without a valid reason (I couldn't come up with any good reason that it would be beneficial for my training diet, though let me tell you brain gave it the good 'ole college try!) Once I decided to do it, I put my full effort behind it. (My interpertation of sin boldly also contains being able to admit/own/fess up to/ your sin.) Somehow, doing so, gave me great confidence that I can continue on with the spirit of Lent without further slip-ups, stronger than I was before. This is real growth over all those times that I exhibited a similar behavior only to say something along the lines of "Well, I blew it. I might as well admit defeat and keep on ________now." This time I choose to react differently, and I am pretty proud of that!