Traveling back.................... Part Deux.............

As I was saying...... After that first micro success (of increasing my speed), I found myself punching in level two workouts more and more. Even though the computer was controling the treadmill, you could override it, so if there was a part of the workout that was just too much, I could dial down that day, and come back to tackle that portion a week or two later. Each time I would finish a workout, my first thought was "Thank God (and Angels) that it's over!" (I don't have to like something to know it is good for me.) The second thing I thought about was the accomplishment; I was going forward (health-wise), even as I ran mile after mile in one place. Another way cool part of Ifit, is that it keeps track of your progress. I began to see more and more miles rack up, and this got me thinking about setting a mileage goal. One thousand sounded like a really high number to me, so that is how I picked it. I also decided along the way (every hundred miles), I would give myself rewards to add to the fun. (What fun?..... Igave myself rewards to keep me going.) I rewarded myself with things like books (purchased full price when they first came out, instead of waiting for the paperback addition, or until they were available from the library), an hour long massage, a new running outfit. (On sale of course, some habits are hard to break!) I had decided to get away from rewarding myself with food, that life-long tendency that had served me so well in the past; At least as far as mouth was concerned. The rest of me was more than happy to go along with the new change.

Before I knew it, (Not exactly true since I checked my total mileage at the end of each completed run.) I reached my goal..... In nine and a half months instead of twelve......Way ahead of schedule. I want to say (again) that this goal was reached one step at a time. (Figuratively and literally) And, if I can do it, so can you. Was it easy? NO WAY! Am I glad I did it? YOU BET! (Mostly so I can brag about it, but I do feel better from both a mental and physical perspective.)

To tie up a few loose ends......

When I took the fitness test on Ifit (in January 2005) I tested out as an eighty-six year old. In September there was a fitness test in one of the magazines that come in the paper, and I tested out as a woman in her (early) thirties. Pretty significant change isn't it? I know I have written here before that I want to live until I no longer make a difference. I also believe that if I (have) to live into my eighties and ninties I will have better quality of life as a fit elder than I will as a frail elder. If you are still in your twenties and thirties, these ages may seem too far off to think about today, but I know (from experience) that it is easier to get in shape when you are younger. Being healthy makes many things easier. (Such as going up stairs, avoiding life threatening diseases, getting life insurance.)

My current weight is somewhere in the one hundred and fifties. I am not sure what I weigh, because after YEARS of coping with a obsession with my scales, I finally decided enough is enough. This past January I went cold turkey and had my husband hide the scales. The first couple of weeks were pretty tough, and I thought about it a lot. Week three, I had my husband get out our seat scale (it goes on a chair and you sit on it) so I could weigh a resident. When we had finished and they had left the room, I sat on it, and was in the process of reaching behind to push the button that sets the weight, and GOT BUSTED, so I didn't get to see what it said. Because my husband has never been that good at keeping things from me (it is a gift I have, even when my kids were litte they used to come and tattle on themselves), I found where he had hidden the scales (in week four). He was amazed "How did you find that? It was way behind the door buried under a ton of stuff." I told you I had a gift! Anyway, with scale in hand, just about to step on it, it came to me that it was really out of habit, not necessity. I could gage my progress by the way my clothes fit/the way I looked/the way I felt. I didn't need a number (which by the way was never low enough, and always left me slightly depressed)to confirm progress. My body is toned, and compared to many women my age I am much healthier. Not that I am kidding, myself there are many womem my age that are as healthy and or in better healthy. (I am not finished yet.) From a medical perpective, I take no medication, and all the numbers that should be low are low, and those that should be high, are high. This is a good thing.

Most of all, I have learned to love myself more over the past year. Each little success made, me gave me the confidence to reach for the next one. As success after success added up, I found myself saying no when I didn't want to do something (in a nice way of course). I began to realize I was making choices that were kinder, and not designed to sabotage me. I know you know what I mean....... We all like to beat ourselves up and punish ourselves when we decide we have failed somehow. It became easier and easier to look at my mini faliures, (Honestly! they were no more blatent than my successes, I just tended in the past to give my faliures more attention than my successes..... How not fair is that?) learn from them, and then let them go! Talk about freedom!

I did not renew my membership to Ifit this past January. I found that after the first three or four months I would log on and get the days mileage, but I wasn't hooking the treadmill up to the computer. The way I workout, (being interuped several times to do my job.......Imagine!) just didn't work out with the whole computer thing. I thought I was ready to fly (through this years miles) without a set plan. It's not that I wasn't running, I just found it hard to do a quality workout without one. I didn't even realize this until I came across that training schedule for the half-marathon. The quality of my workouts have increased dramatically since I have a clear cut program to follow that I don't have to plan and/or think about. Keep this in mind when you think you need a boost to your workout.

Can I say I enjoy working out????? I CAN say that I don't hate it (as much anyway), and I like the way I look/feel MUCH MUCH more than I don't like to exercise. Those feelings are good enough for today!

The main reason I wanted to take a look down memory lane, is to inspire you to make one little change, stick with it, and see where you end up a year from now. If you find you are struggling, let me know. Sharing with someone that has been there really does help. I know that you can do anything you set out to do, and I would love to be able to remind you of that each time you feel like giving up. When you do want to quit, make your pity party a real special time, get over it, and jump back on your road towards success. Did you notice I didn't say "beat yourself up and agree with that voice in your head that keeps screaming you are nothing but a failure?" Love yourself, treat yourself with love and respect, practise the Golden Rule only change the word "others" to "myself." It is really okay to do these things, in fact everyone in your world will reap great rewards if you do them. Give it a try..... What do you have to loose besides poor habits, weight, and poor self-esteem. You can afford to lose any or all of those things, so go for it!