Time to fess up.........I'm tattling on myself.............

I have not been eating well.....Translation...... I have not been eating enough food. Don't get me wrong, I'm getting calories, just not all good ones.

The past week or so, my days have been busy/out of the ordinary regarding schedules for my residents. When I am busy, eating is the first thing I let slide. (Not! an excuse........just what I do.) I cook and serve three meals and about twenty snacks (don't you wish you had the problem of needing to gain weight) a day, I just don't like what I need to make for the others. (Meat, and soft/mushy things that are easy to chew.)

About a week and a half ago (while I was eating lunch) I was reading about how tunafish is a really great food for you. At some point later that day, I got out a can to remind me (I told you I've been busy) to eat it for lunch. That can sat on my counter for five straight days while I instead grabbed leftovers (Pasta, Pasta, Chili, homemade pizza, and chili AND pizza) for lunch. We all know how hard it is to fix canned tuna.....NOT!!! After day five, I put the tuna back in the cupboard.

(I think it was) Last Wednesday, I was looking for something to eat for dinner, and came accross that can of tuna. For the next three nights in a row, I had tuna (mixed with a dab of light mayo, celery, and onions) on two mulit-grain english muffins. I do that sometimes, eat one food repeatedly until I get sick of it, then don't eat it again for months.

I have eaten very few fruits and veggies, no where near what I should be eating. How long does it take to pull some baby carrots out of the bag in the fridge? You would think I would be able to do at least that!

Remember I was out of chocolate, and was wondering if I would eat any before the good stuff arrived. (Which, by the way, has been ordered but will probably not arrive before I leave for vacation next week.) Last Thursday night, (the night of Friday's blog story) I warmed (and ate) up some left-over spaghetti around eightish in the evening. Shortly after that, my daughter said "What can I have that is really rich (to eat)?" Translation...... What will you make me mom? I suggested hot fudge sauce, or a nice cup of homemade cocoa, but these didn't sound good. I knew if I suggested no-bake cookies she would be thrilled. I did, she was. After making them, I ate the litte bit left in the pan that is not enough to make an entire cookie, but too much to just wash down the drain, and put a couple of cookies on a plate to eat later. My daughter ate eight or so,(and told me they were my best batch ever, but I took that compliment with a grain of salt, because EVERY batch is the best one I've ever made) but when I went out to take care of the rest, and eat the two I had put aside, I didn't really want them, so I passed. Do you believe that????? The next morning, I did my safety trick that I do a lot. I told my daughter to take the left-overs to school so they were not around to tempt me. Mid-morning, I remembered those two on that plate and went to get them. She had taken those to school as well. You should have heard mouth!!!!! Oh well, she (mouth) got over it.

Last night (the night before my long run today), I wanted to eat high fat (In the name of science experimenting) to see if it made a differnce as I planned to run outside. I chose nachos (extra black beans no meat, lots of sharp cheddar cheese, hot sauce, and lite sour cream. I was too lazy to add the veggies) later I had a bowl of ice cream (about 3/4 cup) with that fudge sauce I was talking about earlier. Seems once I planted that seed in my daughter she couldn't let it go. How's that for lots of fat calories in a short four hour period?

My run today, was uneventful. (Even the horse size dog that snapped his chain and chased me for a few yards didn't scare me.......Much.) I went ten miles in one hour and fifty-seven minutes. No nausea, and no tummy cramps at all. The temperature was in the low thirties, and while I sweat, it was no where near what I did last weekend running inside. My conclusion, is that when it is hot, I loose too much fluid and with it electrolytes and sodium. Last week, I consumed about twenty ounces of water during my run, today about eight. I am thinking of trying to take in something like Gatoraid the next time I run longer inside and see how my system likes this. I figure I should be okay for the up-coming run, as long as New York City doesn't have some freakish eighty degree heat wave at the end of March. I am finding that the long miles are not really that hard to complete. At least not at the rate I run them. I am guessing I am running at a ten-thirty pace, which I am very okay with. I like the idea of being able to move after getting done with the run, rather than keeling over in my driveway upon finishing. Am I being too nice to myself?

I am not sure how I am going to approach getting my eating on track. I think, probably, I am just not going to think about it too much over the next few days, because I am finding it difficult enough to find time to go to the bathroom, let alone shower. (Never fear, for the sake of those around me, I manage those things...... eventually!) This whole eating healthy thing seems to be turning out to be one step forward, two steps back. I keep wishing I was Oprah, and had my own personal chef that could whip me up these fabulous low fat veggie dishes, and all I had to do was sit down at my china and crystal ladden table and chew. (I would have others to feed me, wipe my chin, and clean up when I had my fill.) don't get me wrong, I love Oprah, and I am not making fun of her. I understand that she has worked hard to get where she is, she is always helping those less fortunate, (maybe I should ask her to loan me her chef?)and deserves to reap the rewards of her hard work. I just used her as an example to make a point. I could have used the Jennie in the bottle/three wishes tale just as easily I guess.

Right now, with the rest of my Sunday in front of me, I am going to focus on enjoying the activities of the day, as well as whatever I end up eating; While I love myself...... After all....... It is the day before, the day before....... Valentines Day that is!........ The day set aside to express the love we have inside of us. It is my favorite holiday, so I am starting my celebration early. You can do it too! Give yourself a hug and write down five things you love about yourself, and then celebrate your uniqueness. ENJOY!