Keeping my word to myself........ Harder than one might think!

Lots of people may be Monday morning quarter-backing the Super Bowl, but since I didn't watch it, I will re-live the nightmare run I did yesterday. (Totally for your amusement of course.)

I wasn't feeling all that great the entire weekend, but like it or not Sunday's long run showed up, right on schedule; as did the predicted snow storm. Rain is one thing, but twelve to fourteen miles slip sliding the entire way on snow was NOT something I was willing to do! No way! No how! Not that high milage on the treadmill sounded much more appealing...... More like the lesser of two evils.

Remindng myself that the only way to finish is to start, I turned on the machine and began the run. Approximately seven minutes into my run, the nausea began. I tried to turn it into "an interesting challenge," but nope...... The best I could come up with was "I'd rather be at the dentist having a tooth filled WITHOUT the benefit of novacain then to be doing this right now." (Trust me on this one..... Going to the dentist is normally NOT my idea of a good time.) At about the hour mark (give or take, as I had put a towel over the console of the treadmill..... the whole watched pot thing...... TIME WAS GOING SO SLOW!!!!!!!) The intestinal cramping began. I know this is more than most of you want to know, but I am trying to figure out the cause of this. Last week, I had no problem, and then this week it was back. I have been really watching what I eat, because I read that it could be too much fat in the diet. If not that, then it must be dehydration. Last week (outside) it was nice and cool, and yesterday (inside) it was warm like a summer day. If anyone has any info on this problem, Please, please share. Okay! Where was I? Oh! Ya! Immersed in TOTAL COMPLETE MISERY....... I could not make my mind wander to more pleasent things, yet giving in and focusing on how I was feeling didn't help either. The best thing I can say was my legs felt great, but from the hips up............

Just as I was about to give in and stop (at the end of the song that was playing), the treadmill quit! Just up and stopped turning, at aproximately ninty-four minutes. How is that for strong? I outlasted the machine! As I was facing the fact that I would have to finish in the snow, the machine cooled off enough to start again. I figured if it could, then I had no choice but to do so as well. I was able to complete twelve miles (as was the treadmill with one more stop to cool down), and that was definetly good enough! Of course I spent the rest of the day getting the middle portion of my body recuperated, but such is life (my life anyway......There always seems to be a price..... I know not a positive comment, but geez.....), the run is behind me, and I am moving on...... After one more little comment.

Why did I put myself through yesterday? Rather than be content to say "You're not having a good day, relax and take it easy", I did it anyway. I think some of this is just because I am stubborn. (In job interviews, I list this as both my greatest strength, and my greatest weakness.) Some of it is fear; if I give in once, what will keep me from stopping again and again until my get healthy plan is thrown by the way-side? A big part of the reason is because I wanted to be able to say "I did it." Let me say here, that while I was on the treadmill, I kept having these arguments with myself regarding just standing by the treadmill while it clocked the miles..... "But lying is the thing I hate most"..... "But who will know?"..... "I will know, and that is the most important thing of all, to not lie to myself"..... Finally, I had to just be firm, and force my mind back to the misery at hand..... Quiting was not, and (for me) has never been, an option. I made myself recite two of my favorite mantras "This too shall end"..... (Eventually!), and "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."........ Whatever gets you though! Right?

Looking back, this sunny Monday morning, I would like to say yesterday's run doesn't seem so bad in retrospect, but there is that whole lying thing, so instead, I will just put that experience behind me, and go forward towards whatever this day has in store for me........(It helps that I have an entire six days before my next long run.)

Enjoy your today to the fullest!