Parasites living in my head?............... YUCK!

Sounds nasty doesn't it? That book I keep refering to, "The Four Agreements," compares all those negative belief systems we take on, to a parasite invading our brains. The book states: " Humans are sick because there is a parasite that controls the mind and the brain. The food for the parasite is the negative emotion that come from fear. If we look at the description of a parasite, we find that a parasite is a living being who lives off of other living beings, sucking their energy without any useful contribution in return, and hurting their host little by little."

WOW! If you look at it from that perpective, I see what he means. All those thoughts about not being good enough, skinny enough, smart enough, etc..... can and do eat at one, until it changes the way he/she believes, acts, feels.

I absolutely adore two year olds, every single "terrible twos" moment, and think we should all learn to be more like them. I have never heard a two year old utter the words "Do these diapers make my butt look big?" Or, "I'm NEVER going to master this block building thing." Instead, a two year old veiws life as one big adventure, learning from the most ordinary daily events. The doorbell rings, the dog barks, and the two year old joins in the fun, chasing the dog round in circles laughing and having a good old time. I, on the other hand, have a very different reaction. The doorbell rings, the dogs bark, and I yell at them to be quiet, sit down and stay, (they like to sneak out the open door) and answer the door hoping it isn't a sales-person, instead of looking forward to who/what might be at the door, a package, flowers, or someone I haven't seen in a while but adore. Why is that?

Because we allow ourselves to become overwhelmed with seemingly important tasks, we miss out on so much joy. I am reminded of the sunrise I experienced on vacation. The sun comes up every single day, and the most thought I give it is when I switch off the lights because the sun in now providing enough light. I know, I live in the city, it is winter, and why would I want to waste time greeting the sun every day? The point is to take the time to enjoy the daily gifts we have available if we only notice them. I have this really great back yard (for a city dweller) in the summer, with lots of flowers, birds, and a babbling pond. Very occasionally I will sit on the deck and sip my coffee as dawn turns to daylight, and the dew drys on the grass. When I take the ten or so minutes to enjoy this, it sets a wonderful relaxing tone to the day. I always say I should do this more often, but I always let dumb stuff (like dishes and dust) take presidence. Instead of living in the moment, I focus on that long list of "have tos" that suck the joy right out of life.

It is the same with food consumption. Instead of taking time to experience meals as a joyful nurturing event, I haphazardly cram whatever my hand reaches for into my mouth, and rush onto the next thing on the list. When I did homecare, I used to eat in the car on the way to the next client. When my kids were little I rarley sat down to eat a full meal. (Why bother? I would just have to jump up to get something or clean something up as soon as I sat down.) I don't like to go out to dinner, and have always said it was because I don't like the idea of other people touching things that I am going to be putting in my mouth. (True statement.) Writing this, and thinking about the fact that I didn't like going to (formal) dinner on the ship (and only went two of the four times), because I didn't want to sit there for the two hours that passed between fist and last course, puts a different spin on things. Mmmmmmmmm.......... Could it be I don't have the patience to sit through dinner? Have I spent so much time trying to get my focus off food, I have deprived myself of the very thing that would satify my cravings and keep me out of the between meal, late night snacking habit? Maybe if I make meal time more of an event, I will need less interaction with food overall? This is something worth further exploration I think.

Spend a little time this coming weekend rooting out the parisites that have taken up residency in your head. Can you figure out a way to bring joy to dealing with the mountain of laundry that is waiting for you to attend to? (If so, please share.) Can you sit on the floor and play with the dog/kids/husband/etc..., notice the dust bunnies under the sofa, and laugh at it? (It has taken me many years, but I have finally come to the conclusion that no matter how many times one dusts, it just comes back. If you skip a week (or two) no one really notices and it frees you up for more important things like finishing the last twenty pages of the book you are reading, or forty wink on the sofa. Only when you can't relax enough to do these type of activities is it time to attack those dust bunnies.) Can you wear the outfit that makes you feel wonderful, even if you are certain it isn't the most flattering think in your closet? Another trade secret here....... I go to the grocery store in my jammies, or work-out clothes, because I feel like it (and am too darn lazy to change my clothes.) Even if people do notice, they will never say anything out loud. I choose to believe they are secretly jealous that I have enough guts (Or could care less. Thank goodness my self-esteem has never been tied up in clothes and make-up) to do so.

Here and now, I am giving you permission to act like a two year old for part of your day. Laugh, giggle, look at something ordinary through two year old eyes. Engage in somthing that you love doing, catch the wave of joy it brings you, and ride that wave to the next adventure. Enjoy!