Perceptions........................

I called my licensing person (one must be licensed by the state to provide adult foster care in my state), to ask him a question about paper work yesterday and found out that he is retiring at the end of the week. I am so glad that brain kept nagging me to remember to call because I would have missed having a chance to thank him for his service and wish him well.

Several years ago I was at some conference, chatting with other providers and the topic turned to licensing. This guys name came up as one of the toughest, meanest licensing people in the history of licensing. Two weeks later He called me to tell me he had picked up my area and would be making a visit within the week.

I will admit to being a little nervous (okay, train wreck might be a more apt description) the morning he was to arrive, but when I opened the door the fact that he looked normal enough (not a horn to be found) calmed me a bit. Turns out he is a really nice guy!

He dinged my license a bit (my water was a tad too hot and one of the pill bottle's label did not match the dose I was giving per verbal order from the doctor), but the way I figure it, if he doesn't find something I can do better at, either he isn't doing his job to the best of his ability or he is wasting my time. We made a plan of correction to fix those problems that day and then both went about doing our jobs.

Over the past couple of years he has always been prompt in addressing my needs/questions, and I have never perceived him to be harsh or "out to get me," just very good at his job. I will miss working with him directly, but in chatting yesterday found that he is a hospice volunteer so I am guessing that our paths will cross again in the future.

That is the funny thing about perceptions; they are rarely totally accurate. Everything one brings to a relationship clouds every particle of the relationship making it unique to each of us. The guy that some of us think of as a jerk might be some one's really great husband and father. That lady that drives us crazy with her - fill-in-the-blank - may be using that same skill to the benefit of others. (yes she could be!)

So here is a little activity for you to try from the Course in Miracles... The next time you are feeling less than loving towards someone say (to yourself so as not to get carted away), "The spirit of God/Love/Whatever in me salutes the spirit of God/Love/Whatever in you." And then continue the encounter noting if anything changes, either in physical form or simply in your attitude. This is no guarantee that it will stop people from having jerk-like behaviors, but it might assist you in not getting all worked up about it, or at least seeing that jerk-they-may-be they are also a fellow human being wanting to be loved and accepted.