I think I mentioned that I am doing A Course in Miracles. Part of yesterday's lesson was identifying something in you that gets in the way of love, and then asking God (Holy Spirit, etc...) to take it from you. The thing that instantly came to mind (and, according to the book, the first thing to spring to your mind is the thing that gets in the way of love in your life) was my zero to sixty in three seconds temper. I did the lesson and went about my day.

Later that afternoon, my youngest came home from work/school and ask if I could loan her some money until pay day because she bought an extra book for her chemistry class for the bargain price of $195.00. ONE BOOK! One more reason I am not going back to school...

After I calmed down about the cost (not that she bought it, just that a text book could cost so much) I ask her why she didn't ask her sister for the money to cover the book. For a graduation present her sister offered to pay for her books for her first year of college. Pretty great gift wasn't it?

My youngest went on to explain that the book wasn't required and she felt bad for her sister about the cost of the required books ($460.00 for this semester), which changed the conversation to me wondering why she (the youngest) never feels bad when she gets money from me for things, blah, blah, yada, yada...

That is the background. The entire time the two of us are having the conversation (my) Mister kept interjecting unwelcome, unsolicited comments. Okay, what I really want to say is stupid comments so there I said it. I tried to keep my cool and ignore them thinking maybe he would get the hint since he and I have discussed his eaves dropping on my conversations with others in the past. Not just him, it is a personal pet peeve of mine and I don't like it when anyone does it.

Finally (my) Mister says, "So when can you start drawing off your 529 account?" and I turned on him like a mother bear turns on someone too close to her cubs. Fortunately I had just trimmed my nails so the attack was just verbal. He knows the plan is the 529 $ is for university and that we are cash-flowing her first two years at junior college, and she and I had been finished talking about money ten minutes previous and were onto a totally different subject, and I could write twenty more excuses but I will spare you...

The point is I guess my first thought on what I need to work on was right on, and apparently it is going to take a bit more thought than I gave it originally. Possibly part of the lesson from above is that I need to practice being more mindful of what leads up to my temper flairs? Maybe I should learn that being in a family means one can't have exclusive conversations but this one just doesn't seem right to me so I WILL need the Holy Spirit to hit me over the head with that lesson. Maybe it has more to do with something my youngest said to me the other day...

I was in bed watching television and the plastic bag that I keep my sleeping mask and earplugs in was covering a tiny little spot on the corner of the the television screen. It is a see through bag, and certainly didn't obstruct my view of the program but it was bugging me. About five seconds after I noticed it my youngest walked through the room (remember my "bedroom" is currently the corner of our downstairs family room) so I ask her to move it out of my way. After she did so, she kind of chuckled so I ask her what was funny. Her reply: "The big things in life don't phase you at all, but the little things drive you crazy. That's weird."

But oh so true!