500 posts, almost............................

This is post 499.

I took note that post 500 was coming last week sometime and I have been thinking about how to celebrate the moment. I thought I needed to do so because I have seen other bloggers make note of their 500TH post and determined from that it is blog protocol. God knows that quest to be perfect directs me to follow the proper protocol. Even in blog land.

My thinking about how to make 500 special lead me to think that to do so would to be going against my personal style. The more I thought about noting 500, the more I kept thinking about how many years it has been since I have done something simply because that was what the crowd does, and/or that I normally avoid swimming with the crowd.

That lead to remembering things like milestone birthdays. 30, 40, and 50 were not big transitions because I spent the years of 29, 39, and 49, preparing to face them. It was almost a relief when they arrived so I could move my focus along to something else.

So, this is it folks, the big milestone post, and then post 500 will be more in keeping with my style; just an ordinary, everyday post that talks about what I need to talk about. No hidden, special meaning.

This is how I have decided to make post 499 special:

Four (4) things I want to ask forgiveness for:

1. To (my) Mister I would like to ask forgiveness for driving so irresponsibly the other day and getting a speeding ticket. I understand there are many other things that $120.00 (and that for a mere five MPH over) could have been spent on. I appreciate how hard you work to provide for us, both financially and emotionally. I totally took for granted how great it was that you didn't get upset at all when I shared my "little surprise" with you. Forgive me for both.

2. To my youngest I would like to ask for forgiveness for selfishly keeping you on the phone yesterday for a mini-lecture on the proper way to balance a checkbook when your focus was on doing homework. I tend to think that my needs are more important than the rest of the family at times, and I am sorry for that. I can't begin to tell you how proud I am of you, and how hard you are working to get your adult life off to a great start.

3. To the two drivers that scared the crap out of me with their lack of driving ability the other night I would like to ask forgiveness for calling you (both) an idiot. And then, even as I heard the voice in my head tell me it wasn't a very loving thing to do, I continued to view you in a negative light for several minutes after I was safely out of your range. Not only did it serve no higher good, if you read number one above this might be considered the pot calling the kettle black and very bad form.

4. To all my blog readers, forgive me for totally coping out and picking four for things to ask forgiveness for. Of course I could have thought of nine, but of course I prefer to think of things that I do well or feel good about rather than examples of how far from perfect I am. I think I share enough of those for you to all get the idea loud and clear; I am about as far from perfect as possible. At least I am lovable so hopefully that makes up for not being perfect.

Nine (9) things I have not shared with blog land, and maybe not with anyone in the past...

1. I have a mole on my face. A not very glamorous one, along my jaw line. I have always wished I had a glamorous one like Marilyn or Ginger (from Gilligan's Island). A few times I have even tried drawing one on, above my lip but I always chickened out and wiped it off before leaving the house.

2. Back when I believed we got into Heaven by our works I did something for someone else (I actually did the something first so it really was something done by a pure heart), and never told anyone about it so that I would have an ace in the hole, a wild card if you were to assure my admittance to the big house. You see, the way the belief went if you told someone of your good works they no longer counted.

3. Did you notice that I used the word "something" and still didn't spill the beans? What was the big thing I did that I believed to be my ticket to Heaven? One day I was on my way somewhere, noticed a need, and pulled over along the side of the road, got out of my car and helped a blind man cross the street. Am I insane or what? That was what I chose to keep a secret as some of my best work? I've been keeping THAT a secret for over twenty years? I guess it is a really good thing that I don't believe that secret works are the ticket to heaven anymore, but that love is the answer. And one needn't hide that love under a bushel.

4. When I was in junior high school I didn't want to have to take P.E./gym class, so I signed up for choir to get out of it. As much as I enjoyed singing I was not at all good at it so I had to be in the girls glee club instead of the "real" choir. I hated this (but apparently NOT as much as I hated exercise at the time because I stuck it out, and stayed in the glee club) and felt like a lower class citizen. To make it not matter to me, I became as invisible as possible in the class and mouthed most of the songs to be assured I was not picked for solos (like I was good enough in the first place). Unfortunately I was as short then as I am now so I had to stand in the front row, no way out of that one.

5. One of my proudest moments in junior high school was the night that that lower class glee club got a standing ovation. Ya, today I can see that it might have been a pity standing ovation that some of the parents pre-planned and everyone else went along with as they were shocked that anyone would give the girls glee club (also might have been referred to as girls geek club, and this before geek was a good thing) any kind of praise let alone an standing ovation. But that night, for just a moment, I felt part of something bigger than myself for the first time ever.

6. I am a total freak about washing clothes right Vs. wrong side out. I swear, those items that have the tag that recommend washing the garment wrong side out could totally be the death of me as my mind plays out a VERY dramatic scene of me coming to terms with either forcing hand to put it in the washer inside out, or brain being pissed because I would rather "ruin" the garment than wash it as recommended.

7. I am a loner at heart. No, really. I know that I CAN chat non-stop to anyone, anywhere. I know that I have freely invited people into my home so that I am NEVER alone here. I know I have a people orientated occupation, but all of these things have been born out of my need to learn to trust other people. Even now that I have learned to do that with (select) others, the yearning to not have to do remains pretty strong. I am thinking I must have been a monk in a past life or something since I am so good at interacting with people, speaking to a group, and inviting people into my space for their benefit, yet given a choice I would move to a deserted island in a heartbeat.

8. I have (a couple of) craft projects that I started over twenty years ago and are no where near completion. Talk about hanging on to the past. As each year passes the odds of me ever finishing them grows ever greater and yet I remain hopeful/optimistic that the day will come that they will be completed. I could probably increase those odds if I actually picked them up and worked on them, but that is an entirely different issue...

9. I really like the television show Rob and Big that is on M-TV. First off I don't watch M-TV. When my kids were home that channel was banned in our house (which means they only watched it when mom was gone). If any of you have seen the show you might better understand why this show doesn't fit my personality. Like last night, the episode was about someone going #2 in their pool and their retaliation. I don't even have a pool! Oh, and Rob is a skateboarder and I (think) Big has something to do with music. What happen was one day I was wasting time in front of the television and happen upon a show that had this dog that was so ugly he was cute (Meaty is his name). They were having a Rob and Big marathon and by the time they got to the episode where they get a mini horse (named mini-horse) I was hooked. Even though they live in the Hollywood hills they built this little horse a mini-stable-palace, and it is very clear that they love their animals. I think what I like about the show is that in every episode they play. In fact, as far as I can tell, they do little with their lives but play. Must be they speak to my inner child. Oh! If you plan on checking out the show, be warned that there IS adult language and subject matter.

Finally, nine things (in no particular order of importance) I learned in blog land today...

1. Daniele is still waiting for her mattress to arrive

2. Random got a new shower curtain, and Miss Daisy got some new snow boots.

3. Amy shared a wonderful quote about grief and loss.

4. Sheri continues to bless those around her even as she speaks of how she herself feels blessed.

5. Nancy held plank position for 120 seconds. Wait-a-go Nancy!

6. Lena ran into an old friend in the grocery and had a good "catch up" with her.

7. Maria wrote a wonderful letter to her seventeen-year-old-self, and warns her against dying her hair red at age thirty-five (and gives herself lots of other really great advice as well).

8. Elizabeth got a job! Wait-a-go girl!

9. T-girl has embarked on a spiritual journey, and is feeling better about life in general.

Thanks to all my blogger friends, and don't be upset if I didn't get to you on the list. I would have added more than nine, but this post has already consumed much more time than it should have (I started it last Thursday...Life has been extra busy as of late) and I really need to wrap it up. I really appreciate all the blogs I read and being able to share in the ups and downs of your lives. Every single one of you are important to me and enrich my life though your blogs.

So there is is everyone...Patty's idea of a special post. Here's to another 499 for better or worse, and the hope that mostly they lean towards the better.