Is there ever "one right way?"

Besides my way of course...that one's a given...

"Be Aware of people who tell you what to do.There is no one pill, no one herb, no one diet, supplement, or food that is right for all people. We are each so unique. If there were one right way for us all life would be so simple, wouldn't it?"

The above in quotations came from this months Raw Gourmet newsletter. She was referring to things we put in our bodies, but I think her comments should be broadened to include all facets of our lives.

People L-O-V-E to give advice and tell other people what they should do about a vast number of things. Sometimes this advice is ask for, other times it is not. Over the years I have given out my fair share of advice. With friends, I am pretty good about not giving out unsolicited advice, with my family not so much. Okay, not at all!

I will admit to thinking I know what is best for my family and am not at all shy about sharing this with them. Lately, I have really been working on not being so over the top with this behavior and trying to shut my mouth more if I observe any of them doing things in a way different from the way I might do them. With the exception of my youngest that is. I have one more week until she is an adult and I am still in charge of her. This is why I am forcing her to do three-a-days.

A couple of weeks back I watched her stress out for a solid day and a half doing all forty of her political cartoons for her Government class because she is a natural born procrastinator and had not been doing them over the course of the term. She has forty more due later in the year so I am making her do three a day while she is on spring break and then one a day until they are completed. Am I really hoping to break her procrastination habit? I am well aware that that ain't gonna happen, but it will assure that I don't have to listen to her stress out when they are due and not completed. That is if she can keep track of them until it is time to hand them in. With her that is not necessarily a given, so I guess I had better check on where she is storing them.

To get back to the original topic. Is it the responsibility of the advice giving relative to back off, or is it the responsibility of the receiver of the advice to tell the giver to back off and let them live their own life? The way that I handled that with my sister (the older one, that was my parental figure) was to listen to her and then go home and do as I pleased. I listened out of respect for her (and because it was much easier to just listen than it was to stand up to her), but believed that I was ultimately responsible for my life and my life choices. Sometimes I did as she suggested, often times not. Either way, I always took responsibility for my actions. Do you ever hear someone saying, "Why did you tell me to do that? Now look what has happened." As if someone else is to blame for their choices?

When things work out, it is easy for us to take all the credit, but much harder when things don't turn out as planned. As much as we would sometimes like to believe it, none of us are pawns in someone Else's game. One cannot be manipulated/get angry/sad/happy unless one allows themselves to be. There is always a choice about how to react to any given situation. Each individual not only has the right, but the responsibility to live their life in this manner. There is no one answer, or no one right way, only the way that is right for us at any given moment. Even that will be ever changing as we move and grow along the road of life. Good luck, and best wishes to us all, we're gonna need it!