Jumpin on a soap box for a minute................

Earlier this morning I was visiting Julia's blog. Yesterday was her daughter's first day of first grade. I posted a comment, and found myself writing a blog in the comment section so I made myself stop and come on over to my own space. What was I writing about? Glad you ask.

Maybe this will come back to bite me, but I am not a fan of the public school system. Once upon a time, I shelled out the big bucks for private Christian school, until they began to go the way of the public school and I figured I was wasting my money.

In the state that I live in, you do not HAVE to enroll your child in school legally until they are six years old, so I taught my youngest kindergarten at home until her birthday in April and then put her into public kindergarten for the last month of that year. This way there would be no problem with them promoting her onto first grade. The school system was less than happy with me, but I was within the letter of the law so they had no choice but to go along with it. First and second grades went well, and since third grade things have gone downhill for my youngest.

What I was talking about on Julia's site was my daughter being just like me. Every year is seemed like there was a personality problem between her and her teacher. In third grade, her teacher's husband was very ill the entire year. While I can feel for the teacher, it was her responsibility to either be present to teach, or take a leave. She was there in body, but she was often short tempered and harsh, (in my daughter's opinion) but when I would speak my concerns I was dismissed "as this teacher was having problems at home." Aren't we all? Must be nice to do a crappy job and still get full pay and benefits. My responsibility was to my daughter's education and well-being, not the teacher's problems.

Fouth grade....... Luck of the draw gave her a male teacher that was to be with the class for fourth and fifth grades. My youngest bonded quickly with this man and had a great September, October. Then he informed the class that he would be taking a job at the middle school at the end of October. About two weeks after he left, I got a call at work from the principal informing me that my youngest had passed out paper and crayons to all the kids in her class, and told them to make posters saying "We are on stike! We want Mr. _____ back." I got to tell you, I WAS REALLY PROUD OF HER FOR SPEAKING UP FOR HERSELF. Up until this point she had been a shy little thing that would never stand up for herself. I pointed this out to the principal and told him that if she was doing something this dramatic then I thought the school staff should take a look at how the teacher's leaving had effected her rather than brand her a trouble maker. I was told that the teacher would let her leave the room if she was feeling emotional and needed to go talk to the principal. My response was, "Who is the adult in this situation? Should it not be the adult that watches for signs of a meltdown and offers ways to handle things instead of putting the responsibility on a child to help herself?"

Then there was middle school....... For some reason, my youngest has always put tremendous pressure on herself to get perfect grades. She would come home from school day after day in tears, because the math teacher didn't explain things so she could understand them. She was told to ask another student if she had a problem. Boy! Did I have a problem with that answer. I went to the school and first had to convince the teacher that there was a problem in the first place. I was actually accused of making stuff up because in class my youngest was quiet, kind, and never appeared upset. The fact that she was holding everything in until she got to the safety of her home, was something the school just couldn't (or wouldn't) grasp. As to their great idea of peer teaching, I was quick to point out that my tax dollars was paying HER to teach my daughter not paying for some other student to do so. And the idea that one learns by teaching might be great for the kid doing the teaching, but did't do much for the kid needing the learning.

I will spare you further examples.............

We are about to begin her last year of high school, and I am already checking off "THE LAST TIME I WILL EVER HAVE TO DO THIS" things. In a way, this is sad, but in another way it has been a great education for my daughter. In life we are always going to have to be willing to take charge of what is best for us. Sometimes, to our detriment, we give our power away to people that don't deserve to have it.

My youngest is a rare bird that REALLY wants to learn. On three different occasions during her high school years she has been put into a classroom with a teacher that was not teaching her. With support from me, each time she took her concerns to the principal and got placed in a different classroom so that she might have a better chance of leaning the material presented. She did this respectfully, and with a well documented list of concerns that could not be ignored by the principal. This was something she had to learn to do on her own, and also something that will more likely than not serve her better than all the textbook learning in the school curriculum.

Her attitude for her Senior year is to not worry about what her teachers think of her, but what her teachers can do for her. Again, not in a disrespectful way, but in a I expect you to do the job you are being paid to do, and I am going to hold you to your responsibility. I made a good choice as she grew, by transfering the responsibility for doing so onto her a little more each year. By the end of last year I was pretty much out of the loop completely. If I was called with a problem, I thanked them for informing me as her mother, (Like I wasn't going to hear about it from my daughter or something.) then directed them back to dealing with the problem with her as, "Afer all, I do not plan on following her to college and she needs to learn how to handle these things for herself." She has done a great job, and all I can say is, "Look out world...... There will soon to be four of us on the loose." (I taught my other two kids to stand up for themselves as well.)