Never to old to learn something new................

One of modern times better inventions (in my opinion) is ready to assemble furniture. For the price, the quality is pretty good, and with the detailed directions, any idiot can put the stuff together. This idiot, who has a form of dyslexia, took the entire morning (In my defense, remember that I still had to do all the other things that needed to be done this morning, so maybe if I had been able to focus only on the dresser it might have been finished faster..... but probably not!) to do so, but do so I did!

I am in the process of increasing my license from five to six residents. You may remember that when we have our respite resident, she uses our bedroom and we become displaced sleepers. In addition to that, I have been contacted by a man that can no longer care for his mother. The experiences he has been having trying to find quality care for his mother breaks my heart. I talked with (my) Mister and my youngest and ran the idea by them of moving (my) Mister and I down to the basement and making our old bedroom into a full time resident room, having the second bed in that room for the respite resident. Both of them gave their verbal consent, and this is when things got interesting.

I ask (my) Mister to move our bed down to the basement. His response, "I can't do it by myself." See, (my) Mister has a big problem asking for help. I can't begin to tell you how many times over the years that he has struggled with a task (like moving a full sheet of drywall by himself) for a prolonged period when there were several people in the house that could have helped if we had known that he needed help. I have questioned, nagged, yelled, etc... to get him to ask for help, and all that this accomplished was getting myself all worked up and angry. Not good for a marriage.

This time, I did nothing when he said he couldn't move the bed by himself. This was Sunday, and Monday morning the bed remained in the room. I decided that I would give it a shot and move it myself. Maybe the picture will be more amusing if I tell you that we have a queen size Tempurpedic bed. The bed has the ability (for the head and feet) to move up and down, so the box springs has a bunch of mechanical parts and IS HEAVY. KInd of like trying to move a sofa sleeper. With some trial and error, I got the box springs down the hall, through the kitchen and down the stairs with minor damage. (The bruise on my leg is much worse that the dent in the wall.) Lucky for me my son called in the nick of time and was able to come over and help me move the mattress and bring up a chair and the twin beds from the basement. (my) Mister came home from work and said "Boy! I see you've been busy." Do you think?

Later that evening he said to me, "Do you still want me to touch up the paint in the room?" I had ask him to do this at the same time I ask him to move the bed, and he got the paint out and that was as far as that went. Tuesday, my youngest and I touched up the paint. No comment from (my) Mister regarding the painting, but I am beginning to wonder if he really wants to give up his room like he said he didn't mind. I can only trust that he is an adult and meant what he said.

Tuesday night I went out and bought the above mentioned dresser, and told (my) Mister that he could put it together if he wanted to help me out, and if not I would take care of it. He started it, and I very much appreciate the part that he did get done. This morning I finished it up. I should have taped myself and sold the tape as a comedy. With my learning disabilities the simple concept of right and left is a struggle, not to mention being able to follow detailed directions. Put piece G into slot L then slide F into......... WHAT? Wait! Put piece G...... Okay, this is right..... no wait.... it's upside down, so it's really left, but then........ By the time I got one drawer assembled I had to start from scratch with the next one since I had so many do-overs getting the first one together. Go ahead and laugh..........I am making fun of myself here. Just when I thought I might have the silly thing licked I looked at the dresser and noted that I had three of the drawer handles facing up, and the other two facing down. Thank goodness I never had the desire to be a mechanic!

In the end, the room is ready for the licensing person to come and look at so he can do the paperwork to increase my capacity. Much more importantly, I realized today that I have let go of a lot of expectations that I used to put on (my) Mister. The past couple of days I have been feeling extreamely calm and peaceful; to the point of wondering what was up. The only thing that I can come up with is that is no longer is important how (my) Mister responds to my request for help around the house. I mean this in a good way. I used to get all cranked up if he didn't respond the way I wanted him to. Now I can see that it just isn't all that important in the big picture of life. He and I don't have to put equal importance on every little thing, as long as we are in agreement on the really important things. Maybe I've taken a tiny baby step towards not needing to be so much of a right fighter? Maybe I am learning to stop having to have control of every little thing? Whatever is going on is all good! Imagine! This old dog learning something new after all this time. Pretty Cool!