Monday afternoon reading............

In between and around phone calls yesterday afternoon I really did get some time to read one of the books I have been working through...... Improve Wisdom, Don't Prepare, Just Show Up, By: Patricia Ryan Madson.

The part I was reading yesterday was about saying "yes" to everything. That sometimes we limit ourselves and our possibilities because we are to quick to say no to an idea and/or an action. Most of us have trouble saying anything but yes when it comes to a request of help from someone, but I think she was talking more about saying yes to ourselves. Say yes instead of selling yourself short, and don't over think an idea before jumping in and simply experiencing it.

Somthing else she was talking about is something that I am definitely guilty of. How about you?............. You are attending a gathering with a bunch of strangers, and you find out that you will be required to participate in the dreaded "go around the circle and introduce yourself" activity. This is what she said about it, and it is exactly what I have a tendancy to do: "Most participants have no memory of the names of those who introduce themselves just before, or just after them. We are either preparing our own remarks, or judging how well we did. Everyone does this to some extent- think ahead, when we ought to be listening." Maybe the lesson here is to try to sit between two people you already know, but probably not! She goes on to say that what we should be doing, instead of preparing an outcome, is to ready ourselves for whatever may happen. If we are actively listening, we will find that we already have the answers. "Subtitute attention for preparation." Mmmmm...... Now there's an idea!

Here is the last thing I read about, "Support someone elses dreams." She says to "pick someone and for one week agree with all of their ideas. Find something right about everything they say or do. Look for every opportunity to offer support. Give them the spotlight. Notice the results." Interestly enough, last October, I did exactly this with/for (my) Mister, only changing dreams to reality, and I did it for a solid month. I did it as a way of trying to break through my need to practice "right fighting."

For the entire month, NO MATTER what he said or did, he was right. I planned lots of little surprises to show my love, and a couple of big ones. Remember, date night around here is not just deciding to go out and then doing so. I have to get someone to come in, plan and prepare everything, blah, blah, etc., etc.... Not an easy task, but I did it to show him how special he is to me. I even got his co-workers to help me out and planned a big surprise lunch for him at work. (Note: He works an hour from home, so not only did I cook everything, I had to haul it, keeping it warm and/or cold, in addition to the blah, blah, etc..... above.) AM I GREAT OR WHAT? What results did I notice?

Of course (my) Mister was in seventh-heaven. Who wouldn't like to be right AND loved? The little experiment came to an end when he made overnight plans without talking to me first. (NO! I am not his mother, but we do have a twenty-four/seven business, and right OR wrong I also think that is something I am entitled to as his wife.) When I told him his actions had hurt my feelings, and made me feel like he was behaving like a single guy instead of the married man that he is, this was his response" "Why do I have to be the one to do everything in this relationship?" Have you already guessed that my little experiment stopped right then and there? If so, you guessed right.

Again, right or wrong, I am still waiting for him to make up for his hurtfull remark. I need to hear something more in-depth than I'm sorry. It is a nice start, but not enough. If he had said "I'm sorry," when I first shared my feelings, instead of what he did say, that would have been the end of it. Maybe you all could give him a few suggestions because he tells me he has no idea what else he can do besides say he is sorry. For me, this is not about forgivness, (that's done) but about forgetting/letting go of the hurt it caused me. I want him to help me do this through his actions towards me. I don't know about you, but actions have always spoke louder than words to me, and I have told this to (my) Mister many times.

I can't seem to let go of how he was so willing to take for granted his rightness during that month, but when I shared my feelings with him (as, by the way, he requested me to do) his first thought was to blast me with a completely un-true statement. ("Can't seem to let it go" is kinda an understatement don't you think? Here I am still talking about it NINE months later. Go ahead and blast me on how I should just get over it..... Seven times seventy and everything...... Maybe that will help me do so?) I would love to hear how some of you think you might have reacted to the situation. NOT agree with me, but help me see another side to it? Thanks for listening!