Don't take anything personally.....Is the second of four agreements introduced in the book "The Four Agreements", by Don Miguel Ruiz.

His reasoning for this is: "Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themsleves. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world" (how we think, feel, believe), "and we try to impose our world on their world."

In plain english (my take anyway), he is saying that when someone gives you their opinion, it is "their stuff" causing them to do so. Looking at things this way, may help you deal with a crabby____ (fill in YOUR blank). What is interesting (and something that I have never really made a connection to before), is that you should not take ANYTHING personally..... Not even the positive, feel-good feedback most of us crave from others. I've worked long and hard not to take the negative comments of others to heart, but it has never occured to me not to eat it up when others tell me how great they think I am (even if I attempt to appear modest).

This conditioning begins in childhood when we: go potty/eat our veggies/learn to tie our shoes etc... so that we get to hear that "good girl/boy," and feel those warm fuzzy feeling that accompany those words. By the time we are heading towards adulthood, we have bought into this need for validation instead of trusting what is inside of us. Have you ever bought an outfit because a friend told you "how good it looked" when you thought differently? Or better yet, bought an outfit that you thought looked great (and felt great on) only to have someone important to you make a less than favorable comment about? Which one is still hanging in the back of your closet with the tags on???

I was talking about this topic with a friend that has used positive comments from others to keep on track with her weight loss goals. I was (playing devils advocate) trying to get her to admit that she "needed" those comments to keep her going, but she would only admit to "liking" them, and then added "is that a bad thing?". Which sent me back to saying "See! There you go again needing validation, (and yes, she is still talking to me today..... she knows that was just "my way" of pushing her to "own" her feelings).

Of course, there is no ONE right/wrong answer to any of this. Each of us needs to make choices that benefit us as an individual. Once we get past the feelings of fear that tend to rear up whenever we lack confidence in our ability, personal choices are well within our grasp. I have mentioned the music of Jana Stanfield before. Another song of hers that speaks to me is titled "If I Were Brave" and asks the question "What would I do today, if I were brave." What would you do?

Since feedback from people I trust help me to move forward, and out of fear, I can't see myself doing anything but taking their comments personally (at least for today..... but who knows what tomorrow will bring?).