Does she or doesn't she...... Read on to find out....

In the course of my reading (last week), I came accross a training schedule for a half-marathon. Since our hotel and plane tickets have been booked, I figured it was time to get serious about training. We all know how easy it is to commit to something when actually doing the event is still in the future. Mid last week, a ten mile run on Sunday (yesterday) seemed real do-able, so that was the plan.

Saturday night (well actually two am Sunday morning), after the party, my mind began to try and talk me out of it. When I woke my husband up to take the remainder of the night shift, my plan was to sleep until nine and then worry about the ten miles.

Just before seven am, fate woke me up (okay, it was my husband. Seems a certain sweet someone wanted only me to help her out of bed..... It is so nice to be wanted!), and after a half cup of coffee, the arguments began again. "You're suppose to run that ten miles today." "I know, but it's raining and yucky out." "You can always get on the treadmill." "No way will I be able to make myself stay on that treadmill for two hours all at once." You get the point..... To shut up the nagging, I began to get dressed to run, even though I had not fully decided to actually step outside the door. After getting dressed, I s-l-o-w-l-y began to get my stuff around, trying to decided if keeping my word to myself was really worth running ten miles in the rain. When I ran out of ways to waste time, I headed for the door. As I was leaving my husband ask me how far I planned on running, and I replied that I had no idea. Translation...... I might be going out the door, but I was still not sure I was actually going to end up running.

As I headed down the street, I realized that it was really only drizzling, and not all that cold out. I decided to run my five mile course twice. This way, if I wanted to quit at the end of five, I would be home. By switching my focus onto five miles rather than ten it all of a sudden seemed much more manageable. I got into a rhythm and before I knew it, I had gone three miles.

Right about this time, the rain began to pick up, as did the talk in my head. By mile four I had pretty much talked myself into going home and finishing the rest on the treadmill. At four and a half miles, my mind was made up, but I ask mother nature for a definite sign that going home was the thing to do. Just as I finished this thought, the skies opened and the rain poured down. I spent the next quarter mile envisioning how I was going to get out of my wet clothes and onto the treadmill without breaking my stide.

I rounded the corner of my street, and had gone about ten yards when I felt a tap on my shoulder (metaphorically speaking), and heard "you know, it isn't raining that hard anymore." I had to admit it really wasn't, and I thought "what the hell, I can do this" and I TURNED AROUND AND HEADED AWAY FROM MY HOUSE to do the final five miles. There are not words to discribe the powerful feeling that came over me. Just as I got back into my stride, I was rewarded with my favorite running song of the moment. It is by Madonna, and is called "like it or Not." The words go "this is who I am, you can like it or not, you can love me or leave me, cause I'm never gonna stop." As the song was playing I started thinking how true this was becoming, especially regarding my dedication to getting in shape. As the song was ending, I was thinking "Who I am is someone that gets up on a Sunday morning to go run ten miles in the rain. Not many people can put that on their life resume now can they?" Just as I finished this thought, the next song began (songs come up randomly and I never know what is next). It was "The Perfect Girl" by The Cure. Some of the words are "You're such a strange girl, I think I'm falling in love with you. All I could do is laughingly agree, as I picked up the pace. Stange as it sounds, the second five miles were easier than the first five. I know it was because I was riding high on the fact that I didn't listen to (all the good) excuses I came up with for not doing what I told myself I was going to do. Powerful powerful stuff, keeping my word to myself.

Mile eight, the rain began to pick up, but this time I knew that I was heading for home so I just kept going. By the start of mile number ten, I was pretty well soaked through, but the sense of accomplishment I was feeling kept me from really noticing. When my pinky toe hollered up to brain that the water was getting deep and he was drowning, brain replied "if you think it is deep down there, you should be in here. She is so full of herself, I can't decide if I should get waders or a pitch fork to shovel with!"

This time, as I rounded the corner to my street, I was thrilled thinking about being done. Now I could get in the hot tub and relax instead of having to get on the treadmill. The icing on the cake is that I comleted the ten miles in an hour and fifty three minutes..... seven minutes off my ten mile race time (last August). I am pretty (okay! VERY)proud of that!!!!!

The reason I wanted to share this run with you (besides I love to brag), is that I know and understand about letting one's mind talk one out of doing/trying things. If this is where you are, try breaking things down into pieces that seem more manageable to you. Once you finish that little nibble, take another small bite, and before you know it you will be full with a sense of accomplishment and success. I am finding out that this is one of the best feelings in the world, and can't wait to see what I will tackle next!