Death is a part of life........ So why do we all avoid it?

Now that I have your attention, let me quickly assure you I am not suicidal. Of course we (most of us) strive to live as long as possible. That is the point of all that healthy eating and exercise right? What I am refering to, is how most people are uncomfortable being around death and dying. What do you say to a dying person? Is it okay to touch them (especially if they have lots of machines and wires attached)? How do you find the courage to say good-bye? What if you can't?

Fifteen (or so) years ago, I was very proud of the fact that I provided labor support to friends of mine giving birth. What a special thing to be a part of, bringing a new life into the world. At that (same) time in my life, it was almost impossible for me to go to someone's funeral. I managed to, out of respect, but I stayed waaaay in the back of the room, except for a very (and I mean very) quick trip up front so as not to offend the grieving loved ones. At this time, I had not processed all the fear and miss-understanding that surrounded the death of my parents when I was a child.

Flash forward to PTA school (physical therapist assistant) 1995, and cadaver lab. I half expected to take one look, and run from the room screaming. But, I had too much riding on the whole "new career" thing to back out now, so running (and or screaming)just was NOT an option. As with most things in life, the worst part was the anticipation of it all. The actual experience was so amazingly interesting (and so clinical.... the faces are covered in case you have never been - which de-personalizes the whole thing)that It didn't bother me at all. After graduating (with high honors, thank you very much) I got a job working in a nursing home. Again, I worried a little if the whole "dealing with death" thing would be a problem, and again I worried for nothing. As the years passed, death became more and more a "normal" part of my life (without me even realizing it, and definitely without me consciously thinking about it).

One thing that I did note, that made me sad, was that most of the touching a dying person receives is painful. Shots, tubes being placed in or removed, repositioning, trying to gag down pill after pill. Not that these people were ignored, loved ones visited. It was just very clear they (loved ones)were not sure what to do, or how they should go about doing it.

During this same time frame, Hospice services became more and more the norm. People began to be more involved in choosing their death experience (home, hopital, medical intervention or not). Hospice volunteer are trained not only to help the dying person, but also to help his/her family. The more I saw this wonderful service at work, the more I wanted to give this gift to others.

My husband and I have (with the help of Hospice)had the honor and privilege to offer end of life support to two of our residents and their families. By providing a calm peaceful environment, and assuring family members that not only was it a good thing to touch, kiss, talk (even if your love one doesn't appear to hear or understand you)cry; it was a helpful thing to do. We all want to be helpful, and the death experience brings out our most helpless feelings. Participating in the death experience, however small the participation, often helps one feel a tiny degee of control within a mostly un-controlable situation.

Now, having come full circle so-to-speak, I am very proud of being able to support (and be a part of) a person's death. I believe it is just as speical a thing to be a part of as birth is, just in a very different way.

To change the subject..... and end on a lighter note..... I have been keeping track of my food/liquid intake today, and will share the results with you in tomorrows blog. Speaking of eating.....Mmmmmmm