Monday, August 14, 2006

It's EASIER to give than to receive...................................

I am refering to advice in the above sentence. It seems that whenever a friend comes to me with a problem or concern, it is pretty easy for me to give them my take on it, and ideas about how they might handle things; all without the benefit of an advance degree in counseling. Anyone else out there find this to be true.

Why then, do I continue to have problems in my own life? Doesn't it seem logical, that if I am so smart about other people's issues that I would have all the answers to my own? I wish!

(For once) I am not going to speak for another, but for me I think this is true because of the emotional conponate. Face it, while my concern is genuine for my friends, I really have nothing vested in the outcome. Another thing, I can give all the advice I can think of, but the bottom line is the person listening still has to make the final choice as to how to proceed.

The same is true for me. I have a few good friends that I turn to when I need advice. While I very much trust and appreciate this advice I still have to make the final decision about how to proceed. It is a big responsibility to navigate one's life. One wrong turn and all of your nighmares come true, or at least that is how it seems, because we take ouselves way to seriously most of the time.

Why is it hard for me to take my own great advice of "so what if one scews up, God forbids makes the wrong choice? Step back, grow from the experience, and try another choice?"

I need to learn to give up the movie "Groundhog Day"mentality where I keep trying to make my first choice work out, only to get the same bad results over, and over, and over. I need to work on forgiving myself for getting stuck in a rut, and move on. Leftover self-esteem issues make this a very hard thing for me to do.

Anyone out there have any good advise on how to go about doing this?

3 comments:

Has to be me said...

Yup thats how it wud be cos its easier to preach than to practice!

Rajesh &Shankari said...

When we advise our friends, we are giving them options on how they can handle, but when it comes to ourselves we know each and every tiny consequence we will face (which we wont know with friends) and hence the difficulty. When it comes to a major decision in mifwe, my huband & I try to write out the pros & cons on a piece of paper and then discuss on what to do..

Patty said...

Shankari,

I have done that, AND advised that. It works. Maybe, the next time I do this I will post the two lists. Might be an interesting post.

Thanks for the imput.