Feelin the need to count my blessings........................

If you are in a crummy mood, and not feeling like listening to someone brag about how good she has it, please move along now. I do not want you feeling that I am responsible for making you ill from too much sugar. Now that we have that out of the way..............

I REALLY love my family, and often can't believe that I am fortunate enough to have the family that I have.

Take my youngest for example..................... We were hanging out in the look at room (You know, the living room....... Only I call it a look at room as it is suppose to be the room that you don't romp in or mess up............... The total opposite the word living implies.) and all of a sudden my youngest says, "I might just as well give in to the inevitable." "What's that," I reply. "The fact that I can't be a teacher," she shot back. "Well, why can't you be a teacher?" I questioned. "I am learning so much around here, that it would be a shame to waste it, and I just KNOW I am going to end up going into physical therapy or something!" She burst, like a person that is certain the test results are postive in a bad way.

Mind you, the only talks she and I have ever had about "what she wants to be when she grows up" have been me telling her she didn't need to know yet when her teachers at school forced her to fill in the blank for their career development class. (By the way, she put in the blank that she had no idea what she wanted to be, and she prefered to be focusing on getting a well rounded good education so she would be prepared for whatever she ended up becomming.)

And then there was this.................... Her boyfriend (who is a year older than she and getting ready for college this fall) says to her, "If you buy new books, be prepared to spend a fortune." Her immediate reply, " Well, why in the world would anyone buy new books if there were used ones available?" Good question, don't ya think?

One more.................. I was having trouble figuring out how to spell a word, so being closer to her computer than mine I pulled up Word to use the spell check. What came up was something she had written for her my space. Of course I read it, I am a mother! It was some kind of a profile, and she had written: "I call my Mom 'Mommy,' even in front of my friends. Mom or Mother just sounds to stiff and formal." While I suggested that maybe it had a tiny bit to do with fear of growing up, I still thought it was sweet that our relationship is important enough to be mentioned in her profile. I was also pleased to see she isn't afraid to be herself around her friends.

Did I have a point for this post? You bet I did!

Those of you with younger kids listen up. It is good to teach your kids how to walk, talk, read, etc... Remember it is the things that you don't teach, but rather ARE that is really going to stick with your kids. They are watching you, and have a strong desire to be you, whoever or whatever that may be.

Most of the early years of my kids lives it was just the three, then four of us (I was married to my youngest's father for a mere five years, the last two we didn't live together.) and they watched me struggle to become independent. Watched how I threw everything I had into changing careers so I could better provide for them. Noted that all they had to do was ask and I would go to bat for them, by watching me interact with my friends in this manner. They also learned how to argue, and make a point while the other guy was still forming the first sentence. Most importanly they learned that I loved and accepted them, flaws and all, and if they felt they had done their best then that was good enough. How did they know they had done their best? They also learned how to be their worst critic from dear old mom(my).

At the end of the day, make sure your kids know they are loved. Love them enough, to be strong enough to tell them no, and make them angry at not getting their way. Set limits, and then allow them to (try) and test those very limits so they learn the steps towards independence. Don't make things too easy on them, they will thank you for it when they grow to adulthood. If you don't already, learn to love yourself so that they learn to love themselves through your example. Make fun of yourself and your flaws to help them learn to accept their own. Always remember to enjoy the moment with them, so that someday they will know to do the same with their children. (Or in the case of my oldest, their dog.)

Did I do everything right as a mother? Of course not. Somehow, in spite of this fact, all three of my children have been able to form an identity they are happy with, and take on the challenges of life knowing that if they stumble and fall they have what it takes to get back up and try it again with modifications. Our family motto................... "You are a ______(my maiden name) and ________s don't quit!" What life motto are you teaching your children through example?