Make the most of every moment........................

The end of the above sentence is... Because we never know when it will be our last. Sounds gloomy doesn't it? I guess I am still thinking of all those families who got up five years ago yesterday to the most ordinary kind of a day, to have the world as they knew it destroyed. One of the ways I honor those people is to be sure and let those close to me know I love them, OUT LOUD and OFTEN.

Switching topics, but not really, my other Hospice resident passed away last Sunday. When the nurse came out on Friday both of us could see that something had changed, but we were not sure what. His daughter came out Saturday morning and stayed with him to love, honor, and care for him in his final hours. Being able to do this gave her lots of comfort and peace. That is the number one reason why I care for Hospice patients.

I know I have talked about this before, but I can't get over how, again, this man's choice of how he left this world was definitely HIS choice. I have been a part of several deaths by this time in my career. While each of the deaths were marked by the person's last breath, each one had bits and pieces of their signiture personalities, and like the song says, "They did it their way!" I write this to say to you, take comfort in that, both from the perspective of your death and having someone you love passing. Maybe I cling to this because I am such a control freak? Since I know I am not the only control freak out there, all the rest of you can join me in being comforted by knowing that, even if you don't appear to be interacting at the end, you can still be very much in charge.

Switching topics, not really, I thought you might enjoy hearing about the number two reason why I care for Hospice patients; life goes on! Though our resident spent most of his time with us in bed, he often told us how much he appreciated being with us, and his family often spoke of how they appreciated him (and them) being a part of our "family." Last Sunday, his daughter kept his door open part of the day because "He appeared to like all the noise and activity going on in the house." (from 10:00am to 11:00am) The TV blaired with Catholic mass, as usual. The dogs barked to get out/in/at passing cars/when someone came to the door, as usual. The phone rang countless times, as usual. Meals were cooked/eaten, voices were raised/told to lower, visitors arrived/loved ones went out, regular, typical life went on, as he did the hard work required to shut down a body that for years had worked so hard to keep going. After sharing one last joke with his daughter, he took his final breath and moved on. So did life. We called the Hospice nurse, as usual (when a death occurs at our house that is), she came/made calls/dumped his medication/called the funeral home, dogs bark... see above sentence substituting football blairing on the TV instead of mass. All usual, typical life evens around here.

When the family had gave their consent, the funeral home staff began to remove the body. Unable to get their gurney into his room, they left it in the hallway portion of the living room and carried his body to it. Between the time they postioned the gurney and carried out his body, my youngest got a phone call to come into work. She needed to call and cancel other plans she had made, and by the time she did this our resident's body was postioned on the gurney right in front of where the phone goes. Rushing to get to work, it was natural that my youngest sort of side-stepped over our resident's body to toss the phone into the cradle and rush off to change into her work clothes. Maybe not full of reverence, but very typical of life around here, and I am sure our resident would have saw the humor in it as we all did. When we were talking about it later my youngest's defense was, "Well, I didn't want (or have time) to ask them to move him!" Death is a very normal, inevitable part of life. Having Hospice patients has greatly helped our family become comfortable with that concept. I am very grateful for the gift that each of our Hospice residents have given to us by letting us be a part of their lives and their deaths.

Changing subjects one more time, though still talking about life events, BIG happy birthday wishes go out to (my) Mister today. Hope it is a great one honey! We love and appreciate you VERY much!