Wrapped up in my own little world, look what I almost missed......................

I was making my way through the kitchen last evening when I heard the news reporter say a familiar name, the name of the father of my oldest's high school friend. Wanting to make sure it was really _____, I peeked at the TV, and sure enough it was him standing in front of his house. His house, that is a mere one block over from our house.

Seems that on Friday, they had found his next door neighbors dead in their bed, and at current time are calling this a murder-suicide. As I was typing this, a memory of having heard sirens the other day popped into my head. I had done then what I always do when I hear a siren, say a short prayer and go back to whatever I was doing before, thinking nothing more of it.

Of course this has been the talk of the town since the bodies were discovered, since NOTHING like that happens around here. I even get why people have to talk about it, both the sensationalism factor, and the fact that people process info by talking about it (job security for the counseling world). Still, when I hear the statement, " It is all everyone is talking about," IT DRIVES ME BONKERS! It makes me feel compassion for the victim of the gossip (no matter what the offense), and makes me shudder to imagine myself in the spotlight. I think lots of people will take any opportunity to have fifteen minutes of fame/attention and use whatever they can find to get it.

Am I talking about the guy I first mentioned? Of course not. He lived next door and it makes perfect sense that the news crews would want to interview him since there really isn't a lot publicly known about the couple. Allow me to go off course and give you a personal example of why this kind of talk bothers me...

Once upon a time, there was a person in my life that I took under my wing, yada, yada, blah, blah, she did some really hateful/ potentially professionally damaging things to me, etc...Hadn't spoken to her in at least five years, then one day the phone rings and it is her acting like we chat all the time and this phone call was just another of those daily chats. As I am still wondering how she tracked me down, she cheerfully asks me if I had heard the news yet. Without waiting for me to respond, she goes to tell me that a mutual acquaintance (from that time period) who left my life at the same time this person did (because of what the first person did) had gotten divorced a couple of years prior and that her ex had just committed suicide. Paying no attention what so ever to my stunned silence, she went on to fill me in on the couple's marital problems, her speculation as to why the guy did it, how the guy did it, and a bunch more personal stuff that the gal had shared with her. As soon as she paused for a breath, I told her thanks for letting me know and got off the phone.

Forget the blast from an unpleasant past. Am I the only one that doesn't want to know every personal detail of another's marriage? My heart could break for this poor woman and her children WITHOUT knowing all the sorrid details. I learned long ago that none of us are perfect, and all of us have things that are potentially embarrassing, definitely personal, that we would rather not have pass through the gossip mill.

Don't get me wrong, I am not goodie-two-shoes when it comes to gossip, and have been known to pass a juicy tidbit along now and again. Shame on me. I am talking to me along with everyone else when I say it is important to listen to what we are allowing to come out of our mouths, and maybe even examine not only why the words are coming out, but the value of the words being spoken. Hopefully, at least most of the time, those word will be spoken out of a genuine concern and love for the topic, and not to feed some sad sickness within.

I know I have way too many things within myself that need working on to waste time passing judgement and/or speculating on the life and actions of another. How about you?