The mastery of love...............................

The following is from one of the books I am currently reading, entitled, The Mastery of Love By: Don Miguel Ruiz.

"We can talk about love and write a thousand books about it, but love will be completely different for each of us because we have to experience love. Love is not about concepts; love is about action. Love in action can only produce happiness. Fear in action can only produce suffering.

The only way to master love is to practice love. You don't need to justify your love, you don't need to explain your love, you just need to practice you love. Practice creates the master."

I found these words very comforting, as they take the magic formula out of loving. Sometimes we get so bogged down in the what and how of something that we never get around to the actual doing of something. This is simple. If you are happy when you are around someone, then you are practicing love.

Note: The other person's behavior doesn't come into play with this formula. If your boss is being a jerk and you continue to smile and do your job to the best of your ability you are practicing love. If you get cut off in traffic by some insane idiot and you don't let it ruin your entire morning by replaying it over and over in your head, you are practicing love.

For me, I have a little harder time when it comes to loving children in this fashion, because sometimes we have to stand by and watch them (or other adults we love) struggle with doing things, out of love, for their own good. Watching this does not necessarily make us happy, but allowing them the opportunity to learn and grow on their own is also a loving practice.

Along these same lines I want to share a blessing I received yesterday...

Just before lunchtime there was a knock on my back door and it was a friend that I have not kept in contact with for the past several years. It was one of those times where one person makes some life changes, moves on and out their prior daily circle of friends. There was no fight, no anger, just a moving on in my opinion.

Visibly upset, she says to me, "I need to talk to you about something." I honestly thought she was going to tell me that a mutual friend was in serious trouble or had died. What she said instead was, "I am so sorry for the way I treated you, when you have always been such a good friend to me." My response, "I thought you were going to tell me someone had died." Maybe not the kindest first thing to say, but my head had never gone to the place where she had wronged me in the past and I was (selfishly) relieved she was not bringing me painful news.

I went on to tell her that I had not felt that she had been a bad friend, but she disagreed, and again told me she felt she had been. At that point I stopped offering her reassurance and instead offered her verbal forgiveness. The pained expression on her face immediately vanished once I did this.

A perfect example of how our fear and unhappiness is never tied to the other guy, but always our junk. We didn't talk about what it was she had been thinking or feeling, there was no need. It had never been there for me in the first place, and my spoken forgiveness allowed her to let what ever it was stop torturing her.

So if someone comes to you with their heart on their sleeve and confessions of wrong doing, say the words of forgiveness that they need to hear. Say it for them, with love, and know that you will also be rewarded with good feelings and peace. Happy loving!