I have been training again. Next weekend we (my youngest and I) are planning to do a 15 mile trail race that begins at six in the evening. Last year it was about eight degrees out when the race started. If the fifteen miles go well we are going to do the full 26.2 in Tampa (where it will be MUCH warmer than eight degrees I hope) on March first.

Today there are plans for an eleven mile run. I am very grateful that we only got a few inches of snow rather than the massive amounts predicted. Now if the wind cooperates it will be a good time.

I mention the running because some of my best ever ideas form into consciousness during my long runs. It is either that what they say about exercise endorphins is correct, or simply that besides sleeping, my runs are the only times when someone isn't interrupting my thoughts every few minutes needing something from me.

But anyway, a day or so ago, around mile four or five, the question came into my mind as to whether or not I was happily married. As I pondered this notion I decided that no I was not happily married. I was much more than that. (Had you scared for a minute didn't I?)

I am not happily married because I determined years ago (and discussed the fact) that my partner was not responsible for my happiness. That was my job. And I have reached a place of personal happiness even when things are not necessarily running smoothly. Happiness is a choice of how I perceive events as they pass through my life. It really is that simple.

Back to my marriage... Out there on the cold snow covered roads I decided that I was contentedly married. A few posts ago on her blog Maria had a question about dating services on the web, and in that context wrote:

And while I will never use it, being happily married and all that (well, lately...okay..we have been treading water, but the vibe will return, it always does)...

That sums up perfectly my idea of being contentedly married. Are there days when I want to strangle/stab/suffocate (and that is just the S words that came to mind) (my) Mister? Sometimes it seems like weeks on end that the man irritates the _____ out of me. We could communicate (W-A-Y) better about certain things. I would give most anything if he listened to what I was saying rather than what I was saying (and you guys out there don't worry; I know that that last sentence won't make any sense to you). But even on our worst days together I have no thoughts of wanting to be in a different relationship. To a great degree this goes back to the notion that my happiness is not my partners responsibility. As I ride the wave of emotions that are part of any relationship I am in charge of how I view things. Maybe it was (my) Mister that didn't do something I ask him to do, but it is up to me to decide if it means the sky is falling or the world is ending. If I determine it is then it becomes my responsibility to fix and or change my perception of the problem and move forward in the relationship.

That sounds pretty great on paper. I guess we will just have to wait and see how I do the next time (my) Mister commits an infraction. Wish me luck!