Fred has a home.............................

As I stated in the past, I AM NOT keeping Fred the cat. One of our resident's has agreed to adopt him instead.

A few nights back, I was sitting in the living room, and (my) Mister wanders in, glances out the window and says, "Hey! There is a cat that looks JUST LIKE FRED, over at the neighbors." It took me a couple of seconds to "hear" what he said then, "What do you mean a cat that looks just like Fred? Is it Fred?" By this time the cat was gone, and Fred was not in the house. We were certain of this because a shake or two from the kitty treat can and all cats within hearing distance are at ones foot within thirty seconds.

Being the smart man that he is, (my) Mister took the can to the streets. He shook it at the end of the driveway and Fred came a runnin from four houses down. Nutty cat...

So, being the nice lady that I am, I took Fred for a check-up on my resident's behalf. My truck is still waiting for transmission work, my youngest was still at work (which was why I had to take Fred in the first place) so that left (my) Mister's truck. Every since the thingy broke off to move the seat forward I drive it as little as possible. This day when I got in, the door wouldn't shut. (my) Mister instructed me to role down the window. The knob on the end of the window crack is broke off and jagged, but I managed. Next, "as you are shutting the door you have to pull up on the door through the open window. Be careful NOT to catch your fingers in the door!" With certain moves my left (post fractured) wrist is still a bit weak, but with a little assistance I got the door shut (opting to worry about how to shut it after the vet visit later) to the parting words of, "better lock it just to be safe." I go to back out and there is no rear view mirror. The passengers side mirror is there, but dangling by a couple of wires. (my) Mister says, "Ya! just lean over a bit and it works just fine."

As I am backing down the driveway I hear in the distance, "Be careful with my baby," and he wasn't talking about Fred.

But you know what? His truck runs great! The ride was smooth, no engine knocks, grinds, or lurches. So what if it has over two hundred thirty thousand miles on it. When I shared with (my) Mister how well I thought the truck ran, his comment was, "I know. It IS a little noisy on the freeway though." Do you think this might be because the door doesn't shut all the way???

There have been some times (especially of late) that we easily could have talked ourselves into taking out a loan or two. Refusing to cross that line not only gives me GREAT blog material (as in the above funny story), it has proven time and again how blessed and taken care of we are. We have all the things we need and then some. The money ALWAYS arrives when we need it for necessities. That truck, with all of it's cosmetic flaws (I prefer the term old-age wrinkles) makes the one-way hour trip to and from work five days a week. It allows me to run my errands while we save up to get the other vehicle fixed. Heck, it even doubles as storage as (my) Mister has the back end filled with crap that was suppose to have found it's way to the junk yard but hasn't as of yet.

Each month we get closer to having our credit card debt paid off and never having to deal with those crooks again. In many ways I feel like I have been sentenced, learned my lesson, and am about to be freed from bondage. Except for our house payment, all the money we earn will FINALLY be ours to spend ANYWAY WE CHOOSE. Most of my adult life, my paychecks were already spent before I received them. The future we are guaranteed to have now (a fab retirement, with money in the back), is definitely worth all the things we have put off having until we had the cash in hand. And I am doubly blessed to have a husband and child that feels the same way as I do and has been willing to sacrifice right along side of me. Money is NOT everything, LOVE IS!

Lost and found........................

If you haven't noticed, I sometimes have a strange sense of humor. Here is the latest version of it...

Memory issues are a given around here. Most of the time they are shrugged off, sometime they need a little push. When that happen yesterday, my response was to say:

I thank God every day for attaching body parts or I would spend countless hours searching for my head. Could you imagine if our heads were NOT attached? They would have to create a lost and found for heads. And of course, my head would never be there because people searching for their heads would swipe mine, being that I am so cute and all. I would have to go through life being the headless caregiver...

I can see it now, people that didn't like the way they looked would stand around waiting for a new shipment of lost heads to be delivered and then snatch up all the good looking ones right away (check this out...I have Sandra Bullocks head), leaving many people to continue to wonder "Wherever did I leave my head?"

And imagine the fights that would break out on the street, "Hey! That's my head you have on your shoulders!" Is not/is too/ is not/is... The guys that make fake ids would find their business booming as everyone tried to prove that so and so's head was theirs...

I could go on, but I will spare you... (you're welcome!)

And for the record... I will keep my own head, but if anyone ever hears about a lost and found for thighs please let me know. I have a couple that I would LOVE to replace.

I've been robbed........................

As I sit here to begin this post I am looking out at snow laden tree branches, a good 1.5 inches covering everything in site! WHAT IS THAT ABOUT?

I was a good girl... I dutifully put up with the storm that arrived with March, clinging to the well known fact that when March comes in like a Lion it WILL go out like a Lamb. I just had to hang on for a couple more weeks. And now this? I feel like the Earth isn't spinning on it's correct axis or something.

I hate to tell you how to do your job Mother Nature, BUT ENOUGH WITH THE SNOW ALREADY. I have put my Yaxtrax (the things that go on your running shoes to keep you from slipping in ice and snow) away three times (Yes! The first time was totally wishful thinking on my part.) and I am not getting them out again. If I slip and pull a muscle I am blaming it all on you.

And no... I don't need any cheese to go with my whine... I'm done now.

Sharing a feeling..................................

In the past three weeks, we have had two new residents move in. The first came to us by way of regular circumstances. I "need" to talk about resident two, but first I have to clarify that what I am going to say are just MY FEELINGS. NOTHING is substantiated, and I am not looking into doing so. This is more of a gut feeling, and maybe a bit educational if any of you have loved one in this stage of life.

A received a call last Thursday inquiring about our place; did we have opening, the rate, yada, yada. I ask the son for some more specifics about his mom and he told me she had been living at a place that as far as I knew has a good reputation in the area, and was quite nice (in the scheme of some of the places out there). He went on to tell me that he felt his mom wasn't receiving good care. For example, she had "lost" her toothbrush and it was a month before they informed him about it so that he could replace it, and when he visited it appeared that her hair was not being combed. Then they raised their rates (to almost five thousand dollars a month), and he felt he was doing his mother a disservice by spending her money for care he felt was lacking. He took her home to live with him and his wife.

He came for a tour that day, and moved his mother in Easter Sunday evening. This woman is what I term, "pleasantly confused," meaning she is sweet, soft spoken, and has trouble remembering where the bathroom and her easy chair are. Day one she was pretty quiet as she checked everything out and worked on getting the lay of the land. Day two (and forward) she began to say things to me like, "Everyone is so nice here," "I'll get better at remembering how to do things for myself. I will," and, "That other place. It was so big, and there were so many people (not able to articulate what she wanted to finish the sentence with), or, "I'm sorry I can't eat all of my food."

As much as I like hearing how nice we all are, my gut tells me it is forefront in her mind because someone wasn't so nice to her. Do I think she was technically abused? NO. If I did I would pursue it with the state. What I do think is some overworked, under paid staff member rushed this resident so that she could get her required tasks finished. I am also thinking that some dignity issues and care standards were less than stellar.

My mind goes back to the woman we cared for last summer that DID have the definite marking of someone that had been abused (hand print bruise on the back of her arm). Her son called me several times before I agreed to increase my license capacity so that we could take her. Though, because of her level of dementia, she was not able to substantiate the abuse, innocent things she said to me confirmed it in my heart and I felt blessed and honored to be able to make her last couple of months of life happy and peaceful. I also continue to have a touch of regret that I didn't get the message and move faster on getting her her.

I can't help wondering if having done that there wasn't some cosmic thing happening that sent this new resident to us before she had to endure what the former resident had gone through. I love the notion that the universe sees me as some kind of Lady Liberty (send me your sick and infirmed... and whatever else it says on her plaque), that can improve the quality of life for our residents.

With the staggering numbers of projected dementia related diseases in the future of our country we have to do something to change the way people with this disease are cared for, as well as what the government sees as being important to regulate. If we don't step up now, it might be us going for a month without having our teeth brushed, or being forced to finish our milk. That is not okay with me.

Now that I have done this business for (almost) five years I am ready to take my knowledge on the road and show others that great care CAN happen, and for a lot less money than it costs to vegetate at a nursing home. I am kicking around some ideas for a book. The current working title is, The Proper Care and Feeding of OPs... You're only old once so make it matter. The only way for things the change is for every individual to speak up and insist on the best care for themselves or the loved one they are in charge of. If we continue to let the system direct the care there will be very few places that I will want to live in. Fortunately for me, I am going to make long term care insurance a MUST HAVE (yes, even over shoes) once I turn 62, and my oldest always fully funds her Roth so between the two I will be able to buy quality care if I need it.

Please join me in thanking the universe for sending me this delightful resident. Also, hold me up in prayer and/or thought as to how I am to fine tweak my message and get it out into the world, and into the normal course of elder care.

A night on the town...............................

If you recall a few posts back, my youngest had some trouble with my truck when she borrowed it for one of her night classes. As we are saving up for some needed transmission work I opted to drop her off at class and then run a couple of errands with her car while waiting for her class to get over. You know where this story is headed don't you?

Since the arrival of new resident #2, I have had to pick up a few things for the bedrooms, one of them being a new area rug for the room that currently has a couple of throw rugs (dangerous with a walker). Once inside my favorite discount/markdown store I quickly found a first and second choice and headed to the counter to find out the prices. As I am waiting in line I found them on the back of the rugs. Choice one was $99 and choice 2, $39. I told the cashier that I would be good and take the less expensive of the two. She said, "well let me just scan that other one." IT WAS MARKED DOWN TO $20!!! And you don't believe in miracles... Of course I took them both.

I loaded them into the car and got in to head to my next destination, and the car didn't start. With all my new found spiritualism I thought, "Well, I'll just sit here and pray for some angels for a minute and everything will be fine"... Nothing. "Okay, I'll just sit and listen to (my recording of) The Course in Miracles and it will start in a minute." Nothing. "No problem, I will just pray for an angel to come help me." As I said this a guy gets out of a truck in front of me so I ask him if he had jumper cables and he looked at me, says, "nope," and heads into the store without so much as a backwards glance. Then I saw a guy messing with something in the back of a pick up so I walked over and ask him if he would like to be my knight in shinning armour, which he readily agreed to, ceptin neither of us of had jumper cables.

Since I didn't think it was the battery anyway (the car continued to make that obnoxious beeping noise every time I got in and out [with keys in the ignition] It wasn't like anyone could steel it now, could they? and the lights worked) so I gave in and called (my) Mister to send a tow truck, and went back to listening to the Course to pass the thirty minuted estimated time of arrival. About three minutes later two (angel) guys came by and ask if I needed help. I explained the problem (well okay, I told them the car didn't start which is as much as I knew about the problem), and that a truck was on the way but they were certainly welcome to peak under my hood if they wanted to. They were just getting started on diagnosing it when the tow truck arrived (less than 10 minutes. That's what I call service!) so them the three of them had a nice discussion and then tried to jump the car. NOTHING!

If it wasn't the battery, the consensus among the group was that it must be the starter. As the two guys offered their condolences and began to walk away I stopped them and said, "You were my angels that stopped to help me, I can't let you walk away without at least a hug." Group hugging ensued in the parking lot and one of the men gave me a business card for his church and invited me to attend. Even though I have given up organized religion I thought it was a very nice gesture on his part.

Once Bill (not his real name), the tow truck driver got the car hooked up I ask him, "Would it be much of a problem to swing by the college and pick up my daughter on our way?" "We can do that," he agreed, so I called her on her cell, told her to be out front, and off we went.

... "So Bill... What else would you like to share about yourself?" He didn't expect I was going to ride for thirty minutes in silence did he?

He told me he was in his second year at the community college and he was studying to become a master mechanic. Just after we picked up my youngest I got the best idea ever. I told Bill it would be great to have a mechanic in the family with three old vehicles and that he should date my youngest. Never mind that little thing that she is already dating someone. She politely declined so ask her who we could fix him up with if not her. I took a moment to make sure he wasn't dating and when he said no we decided on my daughter's BFF. With the miracle of cell phones we were able to call her up, right there in the tow truck.

"Hi BFF, my mom wants to talk to you, hang on."

"Hi BFF, You love me right? (BFF) "You know I do."

"You would do anything for me right?" (BFF) "Of course."

"Well, I have this really cute boy I want you to go out with so I can get my cars fixed for free." (BFF) "Okay."

After getting the green light from BFF, I checked out Bill a bit more. "Do you smoke?" (Bill) No.

"Do Drugs." (Bill) "I've tried pot, but nothing else." "And you're not going to pressure her into sex right away are you ?" (Bill) "Hardly." "Do you like to bowl?" (Bill) "I suck at it." "That's okay, so do they." "Do you like to go camping?" "My family goes to ___ lake every fourth of July."

I let him off the hook after that and went on to tell him how cute BFF is and that she wears the same size shoe as my daughter and I so how can she be anything but a great gal? This young man took all of this in stride which in my opinion speaks to his character. He gave us his phone number to pass on to BFF (I don't give out phone numbers without permission and she didn't answer her phone the second time we tried). Later, when my daughter called BFF back to go over the conversation, I told BFF that I expect them to name their first born after me... At least her middle name!

What might have been a rotten night was transformed into a great adventure, just because of my attitude. It wasn't going to do me any good to get upset, so I opted to sit back and enjoy the ride.

One lesson that did occur to me, was in regards to the many people that went in and out of the store while I was sitting in the parking lot waiting for a tow. I wasn't upset that they didn't offer help, but it did occur to me that they were doing what I always do. I am always in such a hurry I don't even look at other cars in the parking lot. It made me wonder if I had ever passed anyone needing assistance when I was all wrapped up in the drama called my life? I will try and pay attention from here on out, just in case this is the lesson I was meant to learn from last nights adventure.

Lessons..................................

The more I do the workbook lessons in A Course in Miracles, the more I recognize the miracles in my life.

First, for those of you that gave up religion, let me say that while the course uses words synonymous with God, IT IS NOT A RELIGION, so don't be afraid of it. The benefit I am getting out of the course is that little voice in my head/gut is not only getting stronger, it is speaking up faster than before. And, just in case there is a perv or two reading this, the voice I am talking about is the one that directs my desire to "Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you," not the other kind of voice.

While I am positive that everyone out there believes me to be perfect, I can piss and moan with the best of you. Over the past couple of weeks I have been doing just that regarding a (medical) situation with one of my residents that HIPPA prohibits me from going into details about. She went to the doctor last week and "Dr. Patty" was VERY unhappy with what WASN'T done. I immediately called a pal that works with in a medical field and vented to her, and of course (my) Mister got an ear full. Then the strangest thing happen...

The following morning, during my meditation time, that voice opened up to me about how this was the totally wrong way to be approaching the problem. All of my complaining and righteousness (a kind word for know-it-all-ism) was only serving to upset me and wouldn't affect the problem in the slightest. The miracle...I was able to let it go right then and there. I passed that problem on to a higher power and am trusting that it will be handled in the best interest of my resident.

And then there was the conversation I had with my son on Friday night. He tends to have a negative outlook on life, and I kept pointing this out to him during the conversation. Being his mom and all I guess I felt justified. And remember this was the evening of the morning that Fred woke me up at 3:00 AM. I was planning on going to bed early, but my youngest went up to our trailer and when she got there at 6PM she called and told us she had forgotten to take the key (Damn that ADHD!) so (sweet) Mister agreed to drive half way up to meet her with the key. Due to the spring snow storm (five inches), the two hour round trip took him three and a half so I had to stay up until 11 PM.

The point is, I had all kinds of dreams about that conversation. In the morning it was clear to me that I needed to make amends for my behavior. NOT for my son's sake, but for me and my soul. I called him (got his voicemail) and explained to him that I had been tired and crabby and was sorry for being so negative about his being negative and that when he had some time I would like a do-over on that conversation. As soon as I hung up the phone I felt like a weight had been lifted off of me.

I have always been very good at giving other people advice, but not so good at taking my own. Now it seems like I am learning to take my own good advice, and by doing so being blessed beyond belief. And if that isn't a miracle I don't know what would be considered one.

Fred................................................



Yup, Fred is still among us. And NO! I am not keeping him...

I will confess to mentally trying to hatch a plan in which another family member actually owns him so I get the fun of having him around without having to go back on my word about not keeping him, but that has not taken full-on form as of yet. I did hear through the grapevine that (my) Mister is questioning why Fred is still here "if we are getting rid of him," but he is often confused on many things that go on around here so knows sharing his questions with me won't clear things up any faster than letting time "tell all."

Have I ever told you that in one of my past lives I believe I was the young woman that the fairy tale "The Princess and the Pea" was modeled after? If I have one gain of sand (or any other fleck/speck of foreign body) underneath me I can't sleep? One wrinkle in the sheets (top or bottom) or the lines on the comforter are not lined up EXACTLY straight, I can't relax enough to fall asleep. And to have any pressure on top of the covers when I am under them can bring me out of the deepest of sleep. Makes for some interesting partner sleeping let me tell you.

And remember, I have the only bed in the house without a door to keep critters out.

Well, Fred has taken to climbing into MY bed sometime after his midnight snack! The first couple of nights I would kick him over on to someone Else's side and was able to get back to sleep, but slowly he has taken to curling up next to ME; first, against the back of my legs, this morning into the curve of my waist. ON TOP OF MY COVERS. (BTW, (my)Mister is getting VERY jealous of Fred, since he has tried the same kind of snuggling thing in the past with negative consequences and wonders why Fred gets to lead such a charmed life.)

After throwing him ( gently of course) in bed with my daughter I was up for the day, and we will just leave it with, "and it has been a very productive three and a half hours that might otherwise have been wasted on sleeping."

Know anyone that wants a cat?