No living things were harmed during these life experiments...............................

When my two older children moved out on their own I forced them to take a houseplant with them on the journey. The reason; to help them see and understand how much effort it took to nurture another living thing before they jumped into relationships and/or children.

Their two very polar personalities emerged immediately. My oldest, Miss type A personality, not only gave her plant a name, but gave her plant a prominate location in her new home where she could "keep an eye on her," and brought her some "friend plants" so "Greeny" wouldn't be lonely. We used to have weekly (bi-weekly when Greeny was "sick") phone conversations in which she would brag about Greeny's accomplishments. It wasn't long before Greeny was having babies (Greeny was a spider plant) and my oldest was sharing the joys of parenthood with all of her new friends.

My son, on the other hand rolled his eyes at me ( his way of saying, "another of mom's crazy ideas"), as he grabbed his plant on the way to his new place. Once his music and video collection were perfectly positioned for ease of access, the plant got picked up off the floor and placed on the end table where it was easier to use as an ashtray in a pinch. On a good note, knowing how I felt about his smoking habit, his plant did get aerated a lot, as he moved the dirt around in an attempt to bury the ashes, after hiding the real ashtrays and spaying the room with air freshener when he knew I was coming to visit. Don't get me wrong, he loved his plant, talked to it in a nurturing way, and tried repeatedly to get his plant on a regular schedule of feeding and watering, but in the end realized that his plant did okay with the hit and miss approach that was more often the norm, and this was good enough for my son. The two of them bonded in their struggles towards making their way in the world, and finding their own personal niche, one step forward, two steps back. Did the plant like being someones ashtray? Not sure, but I do know it figured out a way to survive while being one, just as my son figured out how to survive during his own personal struggles.

Now to move on to my youngest... Remember Francesca Belle?

My super mature, super serious, youngest has taken "mom's caring for experiment" to a whole new level. The same kid that I was constantly yelling at to clean the cat liter box is now scooping twenty or more times a day, or each and every time Franny uses the box. I guess this just goes to show two things; yelling is NOT an effective means of communicating, and when something is important to someone they will "get it" without your assistance.

My youngest has been dating the same boy for close to two years, and they have decided to co-parent Franny. My youngest talked everything over with the BF before committing to raising a kitten, insisted he be here to help her pick from the litter of kittens, and settled on her name only after receiving approval from the BF. Like lots of relationships, the youngest takes on the bulk of responsibility for the care and feeding of Franny, but when the BF is over makes sure that the two of them are spending lots of quality bonding time together. I love eaves dropping on their conversations in which the youngest is describing in Minuit detail all of Franny's latest accomplishments. I have to say that the BF is EXTREMELY patient with listening and viewing the hundreds of pictures the youngest takes of "their little girl."

Yesterday, Franny had her first doctors appointment. Thinking I was being a Smart Alec I said, " So, is the BF meeting you at the Vets?" She gave me that look that says, "you are so behind the times mom" and said, 'Oh no! He's picking us up!" Of course he was, as that's what "involved" fathers apparently do.

It did my heart good to see and hear the pride that my youngest had when reporting all the details of Franny's vet visit. Seems the doctor was VERY impressed with Franny's social skills. (I ask my youngest if she had told the vet that Franny must take after her grandmother since she is cute AND social.) They LOVED her name, and for the most part Franny was well behaved; seems she did want to sit still so they could weigh her. Franny had such a good report, and my youngest had such pride in the job she and the BF are doing as parents, the $142 dollar bill hardly fazed her.

My point?

I feel so fortunate and blessed to have children that are taking their time to grow up and not rushing into life experiences that carry greater responsibility and consequences if done the wrong way. Makes me feel like I did something right.

My oldest and I had a great conversation last night about the pros and cons of having a fall semester of hell and being done with grad school classes by Christmas, or have fall AND winter semesters of purgatory, and not be done with class work until next spring. She is very well equipped to make the best choice for her on her own, but I love that she listens to my input regarding these things.

My son has chosen to take a hiatus from mothering and do things on his own for a while. I honor and respect his decision, and know that he is quite capable of taking care of himself and his needs without my involvement. After all, I raised him to be a Strong, independent man, so how can I object to his taking a path, just because it is a path I might not want to be traveling?

Not all of parenting is grins and giggles, but all of it is a wonderful learning experience and so very worth any of the pain. If you don't yet have children, get a plant or a pet and find out what I am talking about.

Harry Potter, with a twist....................................

I have not read the Harry Potter series, or seen any of the movies, but my youngest has and is impatiently waiting for the last book in the series to be delivered to our house, so I know a bit about dear Harry.

This morning, "Harry" was being interviewed on the Today Show. As I was escorting an empty bowl back to the sink I glanced at the television and saw "Harry's" VERY hairless, VERY young naked upper body wrapped around an equally young, equally appearingly naked young lady. My first thought was that it looked like (mild) child porn, and (as disgusting a thought you might think) my second thought was, "thank goodness this image doesn't hold any sexual appeal to me."

I am not sure how old Harry is in the books, but the "Harry" on the television this morning is not yet eighteen. From what I know of the storyline I don't think Harry's character is overly sexual, so my question is, "what role does that picture play in promoting the movie?"

I will say that I was NOT listening to the interview, and for all I know the picture could have been related to something totally different, but since he was on the television to promote the movie are not the two interlinked? For what reason?

I love the story behind the story, of how the author of the Harry Potter books was a single, near destitute mother that is now a multi-millionaire. I think it is great, and I applaud her success. Certainly, being a mother and all, it was not her idea to parade "Harry" around naked on morning television to try and sell a few extra tickets. Besides, what teens are up at 8:15 AM during the summer to catch a peek?

Have we, as a society, become so immune to the idea of sex in advertising that we so easily accept things of this nature as the normal course of events? Again, this might be a slightly perverted thought, but I am sitting here thinking what is to come next??? Franklin the turtle without his shell? Sponge Bob Square Pants, pantless? Is there not a line to be drawn?

I feel the need to say that I enjoy sex as much as anyone, and I have never thought of myself as a prude. It is just my belief that there is an appropriate time and place for sexual content, and it is not appropriate to be directing sexually charged marketing at children. Maybe the marketers were directing this image at the target audience of sixteen to twenty year olds, and I would probably be okay with this if they could show me how they guarantee ten to fifteen year olds are not seeing it. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!

In my opinion, our society grows children up way to fast and they miss out on a lot of happy and innocent activities. I was at a meeting the other night in which there was a debate over the value of competitive baseball for nine year olds! Children have many years to learn about cut throat competition, and sexual experimentation. Might it not be a good idea to give them time to mature enough so these things do not become a burden that they are too emotionally young to handle? It couldn't hurt, could it?

Getting off my soapbox now...

Destiny or Desperation?..............................

I will be the first to admit that time has a way of getting away from me. When I hear things on television about this or that anniversary I am always blown away that that much time has passed, even though one might think I would have come to terms with it and instead think, 'Wow! I've gone and lost track of time again."

So a few days ago I get the notice that it is (ALREADY) time to renew my physical therapist assistant license. This happens every two years, and it seems like I just did this a couple of months back. Notices don't lie, so I guess not.

Right after graduation I sat for the exam and got my license from a neighboring state. My state does not require a PTA to be licensed, but I have this insane test anxiety and I figured it was better to take the test when the learned info was still with me than risk the day that my state demanded licensing and I wouldn't be able to pass the test. I have been keeping the license current since 1996, just in case.

I have not officially practised as a therapist for close to four years now, and have no plans to do so anytime in the future, but I want to keep the option open to me in case. Two years ago instead of simply paying a fee to renew the license the state added a requirement of continuing education credits. While I am not object to this addition, and do believe in and participate in continuing education, the problem comes in that none of the classes I take in my state meet the other state's requirement. I need to take classes on their list which means extra travel and hotel expenses above the cost of the classes.

Long story short, I found a class of interest but is it worth the time and money just to keep a license that I don't plan on using? The class is a Thai massage class, and the best part is that in one three day weekend I can get seventeen of the twenty needed credits. The class sounds interesting, and will certainly build on the massage degree I already have, but how valuable will it be if I take the class and then don't use the skills?

Since I can't logically justify the expense for something that MIGHT come in useful SOMEDAY, I am choosing to take a more Zen approach that maybe this is an answer to the new career that I have been thinking of beginning to tune up for, so when I am finished with OP care I am ready to move on with my next hearts desire. Maybe I will take this class out of desperation, and end up finding my next destiny. Maybe the universe has thrown me a crumb and I am to follow it to my next life path. Maybe this class will be the best thing to EVER happen to me.

Or maybe, I am about to shell out big bucks to quiet the fear of the slight possibility of having to take a test somewhere in the future.

The only way I am going to find out is to do it. So I will.

Outing myself....................................................

Fake snake skin, black leather Coach wedges! Fabulous!
Coach tennies... They are so pretty it will be a shame to wear them and get them dirty won't it?
70% off, on Visa debit ...Finally a pair of black shoes that my youngest just LOVES...Priceless!
Guess who couldn't resist these little beauties. Wrong... They belong to my youngest.

In my last shoe post I ask Dee to share some of her bag collection to me and her reply was that to do so would in some way be "outing" herself. In that same post I stated how I didn't need designer shoes and was perfectly content with great priced, cute warehouse brand shoes. The very next day my youngest and I went to a store to check out the seventy percent clearance racks as she needed some new shorts. What did we find but two pair of Coach shoes, sixty percent off with an additional store coupon for another fifteen percent off. We got these $178.00 shoes for $66.00 (and that is with tax).

Two reactions I had while in the store that evening, both really surprised me. First I had an actual physical rush thinking that I could add these shoes to my collection without breaking the bank. I honestly think had I checked my blood sugar it would have been elevated because about twenty minutes after purchasing these shoes I had the come-down that often accompanies eating a sugary candy bar and couldn't stop yawning and feeling sleepy.

The other reaction I had was that since my pleasure at getting these shoes was so high I sorta felt I had (unintentionally) lied about my feelings regarding designer shoes and having done so I would need to come back to you all and confess my sins. How strange is that?

But in my defense...

If you look at the a fore mentioned post, I did say that I would LOVE to get a pair of Jimmy Choos if he would give them to me at eighty percent off. I also have never before been in a position of being able to acquire a really expensive (to me anyway. I know this stuff is all relative) pair of shoes, so prior to the actual experience I was going on my perception of how I believed I would handle a situation that I had never actually had. Everyone has found themselves in this position at one time or another. Right?

The bigger lesson in all of this is to be careful when passing judgement. It is easy to imagine how one would handle a certain life circumstances. How often have we heard a horrific news story and thought, "I can't believe they could do _______. I would NEVER have been able to be/act/do ________."? Unless, and until a person can duplicate the exact same life circumstance/reactions to circumstance, one can't really speak to what they might do or how they might react. Since each of us has a slightly different slant on things on mutual life events we can never really speak to how we would have handled another person's actions. What we can do is be grateful that we have not reacted in a way that is against social norms/behaviors, and remember the line, 'There but for the grace of God go I."

Man, some people will go to amazing lengths to justify their shoe purchases now, won't they?

Cookie memories.................................

This afternoon is the big "Dog Days of Summer" up town and I made some cookies to give out to people when they visit my petition table. As I was baking, I was thinking about how each of the three types of cookies I made had a special memory attached to them.

The molasses cookie recipe came to me from a former home care client. It was a cold winter day and I went into the warmth of the home as well as to the wonderful aroma of baking cookies. Eventually we got around to working on the therapy on his knee, post knee replacement, but first came a couple of wonderful, warm molasses cookies. YUM! The client's wife was gracious enough to share her recipe with me and when she gave it to me at my next visit, she had written on the top of it, "Molasses cookies from the White House." White was their last name, and each time I get out the recipe to use it I can't help but smile at the title and in memory of the sweetness of the couple.

I also made sugar cookies today. This recipe has been in my collection for almost twenty-eight years. My oldest daughter turned twenty-eight on the fourth of July, and being the first grandchild of the group my first husband and I hung around with she had many surrogate grandmas when she was a baby. One of them gave her (this recipe of) sugar cookies decorated with pumpkin faces for her first and second Halloween. I have a picture of her eating the cookies (the second year around since she was still on total breast milk her first Halloween) but I don't need to take it out and look at it, because the picture of her sitting on the kitchen table, next to the pumpkin we had carved for her, dressed in the little lion costume I had made for her, happily munching on her pumpkin cookies, is engraved on my mind where I can look at it anytime I choose.

The third type of cookie I made today was traditional chocolate chip. Who doesn't have a memory of either baking or eating hot out of the oven, gooey chocolate chip cookies? I used to make chocolate chip cookies for my instructors when I was working on my child development degree at the local community college. I would bake up a batch every couple of weeks and make the rounds during office hours to pick their brains about class subjects or just general life topics. Back then I was still molding who and what I wanted to be and to me these people seemed to have their lives all together and were living a dream life. Of course, looking back on it, I know my perceptions were only what I wanted to see and they probably had totally different ideas of how things were in their lives. Regardless, I enjoyed all of those chats and they really helped me to grow as a person.

Funny, how the simple act of stirring up a batch of cookies ended with much more than just dough being stirred up. It is good to look back once in a while from where we came, check in, and make sure we are heading where we want to be heading. Even if it isn't where we thought we would want to be going once upon a time.

Marketing life...........................

On my morning run today I was listening to a recording of Dr Oz and his guest, Susan Linn. The show was about marketing to children and talked about how marketing is being targeted to younger and younger children and the inherent dangers of this. Did you know that in the United States nineteen percent of children under the age of one have a television in their bedrooms? The reason...because parents actually believe the notion that they are providing early education to their children by placing them in front of the television. Maybe they are, maybe not. I am not picking sides on that topic. Something else Ms. Linn said got me thinking...

We all have either experienced or heard of children who watch commercials and before the last bar of the catchy jingle is over they are expressing a desire to have the product. How can we as parents fight this million dollar marketing? By being good roll models. It seems that how into labels and name brands you are sets the stage for how into these things your children will be. Your values become your children's values. Not really news is it? But do you really pay attention to this on a day to day basis?

When you are coveting that new electronic device because it will make your life easier all your four year old notes is "mommy/daddy wants it." Is my youngest's love of shoes an inherited gene (that the other two kids didn't get) or did it develop as a direct result of my obsession with shoes? If it is due to the second reason her future spouse might just have a right to hate me, especially if her motto becomes, "Will work for shoes, nothing else." Hopefully, in addition to teaching her to love shoes, I have also taught her the concept of working for security, and BUDGETING for shoes. I enjoy high quality clothing as much as the next guy/gal, but hope I have given my children a positive message regarding this topic by refusing to purchase items at full price as well as making thoughtful purchases rather than impulse shop. While I can appreciate the workmanship that goes into a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes, I don't obsess over owning a pair. Chinese Laundry (the brand of the plaid shoes) makes me truly happy and content. I probably shouldn't mention the plain truth that I can purchase several years worth of CL brand shoes for the price of one pair of JC shoes, or one might think I am into the quantity game. Just stating the facts folks. Remember what a great bargain shopper I am. The day Jimmy offers me a pair of his shoes 80% off might just be the day I have to snap them up, but I am totally getting off topic.

Taking a slight turn off subject something else I heard the other day is that one can't be truly happy until they are as happy for another's successes as they are for there own. This falls under the premise that "we are all one." It is easy for us to be happy when good comes into our world. It is exciting when it happens to our friends and those we like and/or admire. How easy is it for us to be joyful when our perceived enemy strikes it fortunate? I will admit to feeling perceived pleasure when someone that had hurt me, "got exactly what they deserved," and I am not talking a positive something. While I might have been justified in my feelings, what benefit did it serve me to nurture my perceived hurt through their apparent misfortune? Surely, it did not make me the better person. It did not serve to teach the kind of "Do unto other's lesson," that I desire to teach my children. What then is the point of this behavior?

I guess what I am trying to say is just be aware of what your actions are and what they are "saying" to others, especially the others that are our responsibility (our children). Call it a silly twist of fate, but we all know that the things we don't want our children to learn from us are also the things that they pick up the quickest. Some of the greatest lessons my children have learned from me stem from the way I handled my mistakes. For every negative we have an opportunity to create a positive. What can you turn around in your life today?

Shoe shopping.......................................................



DSW was having up to eighty percent off clearance and triple points day yesterday. I HAD TO GO! I was pretty well behaved and bought mostly flats (first picture) with two of the three pair being eighty percent off, three pairs for forty dollars. The fabulous red ones in the second picture insisted on coming home with me. I sat on the floor of the store for a good twenty minutes trying to talk them out of it, but they were not listening so I finally gave in and let them jump in the bag with the other shoes. What? You think I am a softy for a cute pair of shoes do you? I bet you wouldn't have been able to say no to the either! Just look at them!